Tattoo by Ant
He's 22. At age 12 he started getting high with his dad, weed and speed.
He was first incarcerated at age 14 for grand theft (his dad let him take the rap for a stolen car).
When he was 10, his mom was in a meth lab explosion, 80% of her body was burned, she spent months recovering...but it still didn't stop her from using.
When he was 13, his mom took her motorcycle for a ride while under the influence of meth and crashed into a truck, dying instantly.
I know the belief is that we don't cause our children to become addicts. I agree with that - but I also agree that some parents DO influence their children's choices. Anthony never really had a chance.
He came over today. He was high (weed) but that's just one step closer to using heroin again.
I can't sit by and watch him kill himself or end up in prison like his mom and dad. I want to protect him, love him into recovery, build up his self worth, show him how valuable he is, give him confidence and hope...but I can't. I know that.
I have to tell him not to come over anymore. I don't know how I am going to say the words. I can barely type them. Its heartbreaking.
My son understands and agrees with this decision, its his decision as well. He can't be around his "brother" if he's using or wanting to use. He (K) is determined to stay clean. I see the disappointment and sadness in his eyes when we talk about Ant. He knows. He knows better than I know.
I think the saddest part to me is that Ant has a 2 year old son. We talked a lot about him recently and he felt like he was ready to be a "good father". That was only a few weeks ago. And now...he's heading back down the path of self destruction.
