Waking up in a cold sweat in a panic because I sense something horrible had happened (it often had).
But notice the things that aren't on that list, I still worry, I still don't completely trust him, I still have a constant fear in my gut that he's up to something, I still walk on eggshells sometimes so as not to invoke his temper. I live under a cloud of denial that says something is still not right, but I am not going to go looking for it. If I'm right, it will show its face in time.
For the most part, I love having him around. He's funny and sweet and caring and super intelligent (I forgot how dang smart my straight "D" student was - he hated school). I enjoy his company. I look forward to him coming home from work each day, etc.
So yes, I am celebrating, but not at 100%. I didn't make a huge deal out of it, but we did get him his favorite treat (Cinnabon)
I've been really feeling the loneliness lately. I usually don't let it get to me, but sometimes you just wish you had someone to hug you and hold you and say "its gonna be okay".
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara