I've been thinking about this a lot and recently. First we have to remember what does not work for the majority of kids:
- The drug awareness programs introduced in elementary school
- Parents talking to their children about the dangers of drug abuse
- Parents being involved in their children's lives, knowing their friends, keeping a close eye on them
For some, these things may be enough, but in previous posts when I brought this topic up there was an overwhelming response that the above methods don't work. Some parents said the drug awareness programs actually had the opposite affect on their child (all boys) because it ignited a fascination with drugs (my boy included!)
Other parents wonder where they went wrong because they warned their children, they spent time with them, they knew and liked their friends....they did everything right. If that was all it took, how many children would end up addicts? A very small percent.
Here is my latest idea on what MAY have helped my son and prevented him from becoming addicted to heroin without me even knowing. Its too late for Keven, but I think this is a really good start for other families with younger children:
DRUG TEST YOUR KIDS FROM AN EARLY AGE
How early is up to the individual family, I would have started when he was 13 if I had known then what I know now.
I've come a few of arguments against this:
- "I don't want my child to think I don't trust him"
- "Its too expensive"
- "Its an invasion of his privacy"
- "It seems unnecessary because my child is a good student a good person and would never be dumb enough to try drugs in the first place...."
If I had to do it all again I would sit down with Keven at age 13 and explain to him that he was entering a time of life when other kids his age experimented with drugs. I'd explain that even if they think its "fun" it could lead to addiction, then I would explain how addiction destroys lives, and may end in death. I'd tell him that I am going to do my part as a parent and randomly test him even if I did not suspect a thing just to ensure he was safe.
Of course he would have a fit and say "no way" but at age 13 I still had the upper hand and would insist on it. At age 13 he didn't know how to fake a drug test and pass it. At age 13 he truly was innocent and had nothing to hide so it may have not felt like that big of a deal to him.
1) If he said "don't you trust me?" I'd say "this has nothing to do with trust, it has to do with safety and your well being."
2) If I thought it was too expensive, I would find something to cut back on so I could afford it - but really, what's $20 - $40 per drug test compared to over $25,000 in rehabs, hospital bills, legal fees, etc. etc. etc.
3) If he argued that it was invading his privacy I would remind him that he does not have the right to that kind of privacy until he is an adult paying his own way in life.
4) I never thought my son was someone that would not try drugs. I actually thought he might based on his personality. I can understand how some parents would find it hard to believe that their child would choose this path - but look at the sidebar of my blog with the list of parent's who raised their children right, with love, with sacrifice, with discipline and moral teaching and...all the "right things". There simply are no guarantees it won't happen to your child.
I've been told over and over by doctors and my son's legal team (attorney, probation officer, judge) that the typical test you buy off the shelf usually not effective enough. It may be old, or hard to read or whatever. So, I'm not suggesting this one out of personal experience, but I have read a lot about it and its the best one I've seen so far: Teensaver's Home Drug Kit. I like the name of it too.

Ok, so what do you all think? Would you drug test your child? Have you? I have plenty of times after he became addicted and it didn't make a difference! I think maybe it would have stopped him if he knew he would have serious consequences if he had a dirty test....I'll never know.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara