February 16, 2012

A Little Update

Still haven't gotten around to starting a new blog, and to be honest, I think if I do it won't be about this topic.  My life has been consumed with heroin/cocaine addiction for four years, I need to resurface, the real me, before its too late.  Having only one child. no husband/SO few "in person" friends and a boring job has probably added to the fact that I am so enmeshed with my son and his addiction.

Speaking of the boy - I won't bother telling you the latest drama (its tempting because it was pretty wild), I'll just hit the bottom line:  He's at a Recovery Ranch in another county.  He was in the cardiac unit of a hospital recently and has suffered heart damage from his drug use.  Another reason to stop now - before its serious.

I will keep reading your blogs, and commenting if I have something to add, and of course praying for you and your loved ones, and for you if you are the addict - some of my favorite readers :)

I'm just wiped out.  I need me time.  I'm depressed at the moment, but hopefully will be coming out of that soon.

Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara

21 comments:

notmyboy said...

You know I consider you a friend. I'm always here for you to talk to. Email me anytime.

Syd said...

Barbara, thinking of you and hoping that you will move beyond all the drama to have your own life front and center. You certainly deserve it. Take care of yourself.

Annette said...

Barbara, I love your idea of starting a new blog about a totally different topic. I just don't want to lose touch. So please please, remember to invite me to your new hang out. :o) Love you Barbara and I hope things go smoothly with your boy. I hope that this is a new beginning for him.

Signe said...

I understand being tired. Go refresh. I am interested in your experiences and always include you and your son in my prayers. Do what's best for you, right now.

Anonymous said...

I really hate it's going this bad for you. I know what it means to lose everything when you lose your job and insurance, and yet I also know the side of the story your son likely deals with.

Take care and you and yours remain in my prayers.

-AnonymousV

Anna said...

How about a blog about reinventing yourself no matter what happens on the outside? Please let me know where you are. Good luck and God bless you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Barbara,
It's good to hear from you from this blog post. It's such a habit for me to check in with you a couple times a day. I will miss you and your writing...your honesty...your willingness not to be 'perfect' publicly (and by the way who is??? NO one!!) I am so pleased that you are doing what is best, right now. for YOU! My thoughts and prayers will ALWAYS be sent your way and also to your son. Have fun 'reinventing' yourself via your new blog. I will be keeping watch for it whenever/it you make it happen. Take care. My love and concern is sent to you.
Shelley in SK

Peggy said...

I know how draining it is, to have a child struggling with life - and addiction. It's difficult NOT to get enmeshed. Keven's situation absolutely is depressing - it's ok for you to feel down. But, you know where he is right now - and he's safe. There is hope. It's such a f*cking roller coaster, isn't it?
It's been wonderful getting to know more about YOU on FB. You are a vibrant, smart, creative woman, whom I consider to be a close friend. Keep living your life as fully as you do. You are an inspiration to me - and to many others. Your spirit shines! Peggy

bugerlugs63 said...

Hi Barbara,
I hope you "keep on blogging" and feel better soon. I look forward to your posts.
I do understand how hard it is for keven and for you. I can only pray something will change soon. Meantime I hope you get some good "you" days. Hugs n love x

xo lilly (my life unspoken) said...

Maybe a small break will help but i think you should keep a handwritten journal for when u return. i started blogging in 2011, but ive always kept a diary of my life since i moved out of home at 15yrs old(1997) and before. its all scanned and uploaded in my blog. theres about 80 handwritten diary entries with alot of it in shocking writing. hopefully people can decipher my handwriting.

your all anyone could hope for in a mum.....i'll miss ur posts, xo lilly

Dawn said...

Always thinking of you and Keven Barbara and sending prayers your way. It is a roller coaster life living with an addict. You must have "me time" and live your life too. Wishing you strength!

Sadie said...

Barbara, you're my hero.

Nik said...

Well, I haven't stopped by here in quite a while and I'm sorry to hear that you're going through so much right now. My thoughts and prayers are with you Barb. Me time is some of the BEST time, so I hope you're able to think, reflect, clear your head, and do all that you need to do. I hope to see you around blogland again.

Lou said...

I used to tease you about all your other blogs. Why not start over with one of those interests? You have a great sense of humor, and I'll be reading.

I like the ranch. The discipline will be good for K, and they won't let him walk away so easily.

XOXO

Mike said...

just be babs. Don't worry about blogs. Just be you. Thats what is important.

A Mom's Serious Blunder said...

We are all here when you are ready....I miss you already!

Maija said...

As goofy as this may sound Barbara, wake up every day and choose happy. Eventually it will come naturally. This is a very depressing situation and it's normal to feel sad. Perhaps you should take time for counseling to remember who Barb is.
I'm sorry about your baby...it's so awful.
You will survive!
oxox

Momma said...

I don't know what to say, Barbara. Do what you have to do. I will miss you.

LL Cool Joe said...

Oh sorry I've just got back to the UK and I think I've missed something. I hope you are okay? Blogging can become a pressure sometimes, just do what you feel is right for you. no one else.

A Moms Serious Blunder said...

Barbara please email me about DHAM. I am so worried, I hope everything is ok. Where did you hear otherwise?

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