I was so angry when he got arrested the other night. But after it sank in, I started to feel more worried than angry. He seriously was doing better. He was home by 10 pm for curfew every night except the night he got arrested...his excuse that night was a flat tire. His excuse was real because I had to go find the car where he left it (in a safe no tow zone, which I appreciated) and have it towed.
Also, he had been going to his all day out patient every day and admitted to me that he LIKED it.
Lastly, he had not done drugs, but he had drank alcohol on several occasions and that's what got him.
I don't want him to get kicked out of Opportunity Court over this. I don't want him to spend too much time in jail over it either. I want him to get back to the outpatient....
But its not what I want, its what Judge Lindley wants. She is very fair and compassionate and wants him to succeed but how many chances does he get?
I've taken his calls and he sounds so tired, they have not given him his meds since he got there so that's three days of little sleep and no medication which is NOT RIGHT. His PO took the meds when she arrested him so I know t hey have them.
So, right or wrong, good or bad, I don't care - I am going to visit my son today. I miss him.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
4 comments:
We each have choices. Have a good day Barb.
K is so blessed to have a mom like you!
I think no matter what we feel as mom's God has a plan. Sometimes that plan looks and feels harsh, but it just might be the key to our children finding sobriety and living a healthy life.
I found myself thinking the other day that maybe H wasn't doing "so bad." After all, I don't think she is using everyday...I caught myself, using at all, is not ok. Its not healthy. Its a symptom that something is wrong in her life and her choice making processes. She is still sick. We can rationalize their behavior but we are only doing a disservice to ourselves and most of all to them. We are getting in the way of their path to sobriety with all of our love and worry.
you hang in there Barbara, but I hope that your focus will be on you and you being as healthy as you can be. You are the only person you have any control over.
What you have is unconditional love, and that's what I admire the most. Of course you miss him, his your wonderful son, and whatever he does he'll always be that.
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