You know what sounds good to me (other than a whole carton of B&J's Coffee Heath Bar ice cream)? A month (or more) with nothing out of the ordinary. Just day to day activities, nothing new to worry about, no huge decisions to make, no challenging obstacles to face.
Maybe someday life will be nice and dull again :)
I wrote on FB about how Keven is having surgery on his finger this week. He broke it playing football and its very messed up. There's a piece of bone floating around in his finger that needs to be reattached where it belongs using pins.
He told his doctor he was an addict and did not want opiates. The dr. prescribed codiene. But then Unidos said no, that was a narcotic and no narcotics allowed at all under any circumstances. So now he's getting Taradol and is worried about pain. Unlike his mother, he doesn't have a high pain tolerance.
So of course I am concerned that he will use this as an excuse to use. If so, that means he's still not ready and I need to just completely step away.
I don't want to step away, he's doing so well at the moment. Its not even his fault he broke his finger. Its just Life happening.
So I am doing my best to let go every time I start to worry. I will be there for his surgery in the waiting room for three hours with his escort from Unidos. That will be interesting. So far I've met several of them and have enjoyed their company - but three hours alone with anyone is hard for me. Do hospital waiting rooms have wifi?
This week I will also be catching up with your blogs. I have been reading but not commenting much. I feel a bit overwhelmed with several things in my life. But all we can do is live one day at a time, right?
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
9 comments:
I'm hoping they do have wi-fi...at least they should! In any case, bring a book. I'm thinking of you...and Keven...and hoping it goes very well.
They have wifi. But, I want to comment on something else you said here..."It is just Life happening", or something like that...Unfortunately, as an addict, we cannot stop life from happening, even if those happenings lead us into temptations and situations where we could use. And that is really the crutch of it...we cannot stop life from happening, and we have to deal with it as it comes, without using drugs and alcohol. This will happen forever. It is just learning how to use the tools we are given to make a different choice.
You know what helps me...I think about how my daughter is not the only addict who has faced whatever situation that has happened to come up. Many many addicts have faced surgery without narcotics and they have been ok. My mom told me right before I had my first baby...millions of women through out history have done this. So can you. This is an opportunity for him to choose sobriety.
This is my 3rd time trying to post! So now I will keep it short.
I can't imagine this could be worse than the pain of withdrawals from H which brought me to tears when I watched B go through it.
He will make it!!!! Tori
There will always be an "excuse" to use. And if you stay in your mindset there will always be a reason to worry.
Today we have very effective pain relievers that are not narcotic. Other people are hospitalized with this issue, so doctors are well aware of the options.
Of course, I get that you are worried about surgery. He needs to take care of it afterward, or he will have a crooked finger..!
THANK YOU, LADIES!!!!!
Every one of you made a perfect point, all things which I know in my head but still have trouble applying.
- Keven will get through this his way, he will or will not choose to use it as an excuse and he will face these challenges all his life.
- being "dope sick" is far worse pain than a finger surgery and he's experienced that more times than I like to think about.
- its okay to worry about the finger as any mom would, but to dwell in worry about a relapse is a huge waste of my emotional energy and totally unhelpful to anyone.
I LOVE YOU GALS. Thanks for holding my hand. I feel better.
Also found out that the RX is actually TORADOL/ketorolac, not Tramadol. Don't know if there's a difference.
Finger surgery cannot be worse than a myriad of other painful situations that human beings endure on a daily basis (giving birth, kidney stones, sprains, strains, etc...) There are always excuses to go out and use, that's part of being an addict. I know it's hard not to dwell on the possibility of relapse in good times, but you have to let that be Kevin's problem in order to protect your OWN serenity. You can't control it.
Thanks, Sydney. "protect your own serenity" is important. Sometimes I have to work to get my serenity, its elusive, but I never give up on myself. I do have control over me even if I don't over Kev and his situation.
and yes.,..Toradol is totally different than Tramadol. My husband was given Toradol in the hospital for the horrific pain of a kidney stone and it immediately relieved his pain. Mind you,for the 12 hr.s prior,he'd been given morphine, which did nothing for the pain, and only made him vomit, while also in terrible pain. Apparently, morphine does nothing for a kidney stone...Toradol does, and only when the urologist came in in the morning(to the ER) did he get the right medication. Ugh. So,..remember that you all,..in case you ever have the horror of a kidney stone. And by the way...if you'd like to prevent them(much better choice) take supplements of B6 & magnesium every day...does the trick. :)
I know that Tramadol is a pain reliever,...our dog took it for aching joints from arthritis.
As everyone said above...doctors are aware of the issues of opiate addicts w/surgery..not rare(sadly),...so I really think they have some good options ready to go. Hope you (and he) feel better very soon !
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