I did take a walk in the rain and it was wonderful. I feel better right now. My son even texted me and was courteous. Then your comments made me laugh and feel better too. Thanks!
MY LIFE:
No date for me tonight, he cancelled at 7:30 am. I was not surprised, I had a feeling he was going to. I'm not disappointed, I was hoping he would. I'm just not in the mood. I hope that someday I am in the mood. What would be really wonderful is to meet a guy the old fashioned way - we run into each other somewhere, there's a mutual interest, we go out on a first date. This online dating is so annoying and impersonal. He TEXTED me to cancel our date. Remember the good old days where you had to get up the courage to actually call someone to cancel a date? I've heard of some people breaking up with someone over the phone. That's cold and takes no guts.
His Addiction:
Keven seems angry and depressed. I'm doing my best to just not think about him, to let go, let God, etc. But there's a place in my heart that is just for him and I can feel that place hurting. It feels like I am waiting for disaster to strike because I'd bet money he's not done yet. He's biding his time at rehab and then will go out and use. BUT, hopefully I am WRONG.
Anthony continues to do well. He called me for some advice yesterday. He has to move out of the place he's in and is not sure where to go so ran some ideas by me. Money is such a pain when you don't have enough to get by. He almost had a job, but it fell through and he's looking really hard, but you know how it is these days. Luckily he has tattooing to earn some income while he's looking.
I feel kinda blah and sad for many of us today. I am going to take a walk, in the RAIN, with my umbrella on my lunch hour, maybe that will help me feel better. On my walk, I'll be praying for each of us and our addicts.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
15 comments:
Damn I'm sorry about the potential date. He obviously wasn't good enough for you.
The second part of your post made me think about the Everly Brother's "Crying In the Rain".
I hope things look better tomorrow Barbara.
Canceling by text reminds me of one of the old Sex and the City episodes where Carey's boyfriend broke up with her by writing it on a sticky note. Sigh...... I don't like either situation.
I'll be praying for you, I have those blah days too, the walk should help.
Barbara, I'm sorry that the date was a jerk. You deserve better. Glad that you wrote about what you felt. I have some cheery photos I just put up.
Keep your chin up. Things are not in the total pits with either Anthony or Keven. And you--well, you are a great person and much loved by all of us.
Hey Barbara, if Ant is still looking for a really good house - I can check with L's old sponsor and dear friend. She is running two sober homes right now and they are good solid homes, with lots of stealth sneak attacks at dawn for bed checks and random drug tests, lots of meetings and a lot of FUN. She took all the girls in one house a few days ago for mani-pedis. She does special stuff for the guys too. Cooked 'em a huge turkey for thanksgiving. Has house meetings and is always available to talk, encourage. Let me know if you want me to check with her about bed availability, although she will usually just stick someone on the sofa or a cot if they truly want to be in one of her houses... She's often at LifeLines on Friday nights.
Enjoy your walk.... rain happens so seldom here - I hope it is a rejuvenating time for you! Big hugs!
Sounds like you need to limit your dating to married guys, we are more reliable. LOL
Ron is asking for trouble! I did the online dating thing for a while and nothing ever came of it. I had lots of cups of coffee at Mcdonalds after I figured that going to dinner is too much of a waste of time and money on those guys. I ended up dating the last one for a while until we were supposed to go on a trip for Easter to Charleston, SC and when he showed up to pick me up he actually told me that he had just reunited with his ex wife! Good thing that he did, or I would probably have never married Mike. There is something better for you out there. I know that it is hard to get into the dating mood when you are feeling depressed. Just try to get your spirits up again and things will look up for you in no time, I promise.
"Canceling by text? I think that you lucked out Barbara!
I'm sure you will just run into someone one day and it will happen how you want it to . . when the time is right. Someone who will truly care for you.
I think you're probably right that Keven has not done yet . . . but doesn't want to be homeless.
Could he not get a job, a place to live and "function" as an addict if he is intent on using, until he gets fed up with it?
It doesn't have to involve prison, police, chaos, crime, etc. I know it's still not ideal but surely it's better than all this instability. He would find other interests and that would be just one small part of his life. Has he worked before?
I hope you feel better for your walk in the rain. I love the rain. Which is just aswell really :-) Hugs n love to you x
That is the second comment that Ron has left today that has made me LOL.
As for the date....yuk! It sounds like you weren't really into going anyway...which is good. You deserve someone so much better than a text date breaker! Ugh.
I wish it was raining here! We are having COLD and sunny. I am ready for a big storm.
It is so hard to be patient to see how the future unfolds. I totally get that my dear. I am tired of being patient too. It sounds like Ant is doing really well though....and who knows what will happen with Keven. He may really decide to let it all kick in this time.
You just take care of yourself! That is your main responsibility! Not Keven and not Ant. YOU!
Thanks for all these great comments!!!
Warning: Ron has pneumonia and is lying around "resting" but obviously is feisty in his boredom! (Annette - he made me laugh two times today also!)
Bugerlugs, he has never had a job :( But hopefully he will soon.
K-Bob, yep, me too :)
Bristol, how did you meet that catch of a husband of yours?
Ha...Barbara,..you read my mind,..about where Bristol met her hubby. So, come on, Bristol...we're all ears now. :)
And yes...we're glad Ron makes us laugh, even if he's under the weather. (feel better soon Ron,..you know that Mom can only last so long)
Barbara...the texter guy is the one that missed out; we all know that. Mr. Right is someone different...but he'll come along in your future,...I just think he will. So for now, we'll say...hey Mr. Right,...can you get on with it please ?
Hope that Keven keeps making the right choice. Thinking of you here.
Breaking a date by text at 7:30 - probably not someone who deserves another date.
I think you will be in the mood some day. Meeting someone you really connect with seems to happen spontaneously. Be on the look out!
I've never heard of a rehab that lets people keep their cell phones;(
What is the "thinking" behind that?
I thought Rehab banned phones too- the place I took Nicole's BD cake to was clamped down tight, no outside contact, tv choices were restricted as well as reading material. Their days were very structured. It was up in the mountains (within walking distance of a liquor store!) and they had to do all their own cooking, cleaning, etc... it looked like a rustic mountain cabin with a large dorm area for them to sleep in. Very home-like.
Anyone who cancels a date via t/m (unless you're deaf like me, LOL) shouldn't get a second look so you're better off.
What's a traditional way to "meet a date" nowadays anway? Everyone's story is so different.
Your story will be told and we'll be here listening one day. =)
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