May 5, 2011

I have a good feeling...

All of my hopes and optimism are underlined in reality, but I can't help but feel good about "United Recovery Home".  They picked him up from jail today and he's there!  I got to see and HUG him when I dropped of his stuff.

The difference between this place and CS (the last place) is like the difference between the Hyatt Regency and a Motel 6.

At the last place, he was in a private home with a pool, shared a room with one other guy, and slept on a bed with a TEMPURPEDIC mattress!  They had a private bath, a maid that did the cleaning, and planned what they wanted to eat each week.  I could do on...but you get the idea.  The residents were mostly young white males with rich families or damn good insurance, there were a few other ethnicities and some females  as well.

This place is 6 men to a room - two sets of three high bunk beds.  Community showers and bathrooms.  One room with old couches and chairs for meetings, a couple of offices, a kitchen.   The residents are mostly lower income, a lot of older guys (like over 40), 80% Hispanic (its designed for Hispanic males but they decided to let others in too if they could pay, it is a fraction of what CS cost*), no females.

It reminds me of a hardcore, down and dirty recovery home where they don't mess around coddling the residents, they do what needs to be done.  But they also go to the beach, the movies, and the park so there is a balance of having some recreation too.

I am not knocking either place, I am glad he went to CS, the staff was phenomenal, the one on one attention was great.  He had "fun" because he was among his peers and everyone thought he was cool.  This place, I doubt anyone is going to be thinking of him as cool!  The guy in charge looks like Joe Average but has prison tats, which means the residents respect him cause he's one of them.

He was happy to be there and told me he loved me and would see me again in a month.  I feel hopeful.

*I just did the math, its 5 times less expensive per day!  Less than it would cost me to support him myself if he lived at home!

I don't regret sending him to CS,  he benefited a lot from it and made a very good (safe, older, mature) friend there.  But  a note to other parents contemplating spending their inheritance, their 401K or their child's college fund for Residential Rehab - you don't have to.  There are alternatives.  I guess we'll see how it goes.


beachteacher said...

yaay yaay ! I love that you have a good feeling about it,....and I'm hoping you're right. The place certainly doesn't need to be fancy to be effective. SO glad that it's affordable !! :) Thanks for sharing this. And SO GLAD you got to hug him too !

Lou said...

Once Andrew was in a place like this. He had been in jail for something like 8 months, so I had no physical contact with him. We had to shout through this glass device when I visited.

When I went to drop off his clothes at the recovery house, he was not supposed to come outside. But the person on duty let him come out, hug me, and have a brief conversation.

I can't tell you how many times people did nice, decent things for Andrew and for me, all along this journey.

Cindy said...

Sounds wonderful, and I say that in all sincerity! My son is now in a place called the ARCH in Omaha. 18 guys...all ages and ethnicity. But, real rehab...real tough and a high success rate. He's had his ups and downs there but, see a young man that I always knew was there. I saw him on Sunday, played Scrabble on a picnic table w/ his dad (my first husband) and brother (my younger son). We had SUCH a realaxed and fun time. And, I won my first Scrabble game ever! EVER! Now...considering I'm almost 53, I'm wondering if they let me...
Oh well, regardless, it's Nathan's rehab. to do and life to live. But, can't help but smile and have a little hope...sigh.

Lisa said...

I'm really glad the new facility/program is a vehicle for hope! We know ultimately it is up to Keven, but everyone needs some help on the hard journeys. Maybe this will be the help Keven needs. Hugs and prayers to you.

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