Some have come home from jail/prison, others will be home soon.
Some are in Residential Treatment or other types of treatment right now.
Some are on their own but managing to stay clean.
Some have a long time of sobriety behind them (Bmelonlemonade for one).
For those of you who have a child or other loved one still using, I understand. Its painful. Hoping, fear, praying, worry, crying, anger, hopelessness, whatever the emotion may be I still feel them all, but at a much lesser level. Please hang in there, it may take a long time (I hope not) but from what I am seeing MOST addicts eventually get to the point that they are just done with it. For some its longer than others.
I'll be honest, Anthony will be home in 15 days. My stomach is in knots when I think of it because he's 23 now and he's been in and out of trouble with drugs and crime since he was 14 (when his dad left him in stolen car since he was a juvenile and would get a lighter sentence!) I can't say I have high hopes for him but damn it, I want to be wrong.
My son is doing well at the moment. I am not naive enough to thing he's "done" but I do have a strong hope for that.
I will be thinking of each and every one of you this Christmas. I am so thankful for this group of bloggers, you have been my support group, my role models, my friends with loving arms and warm words (cyber hugs can be felt, I can feel them!).
THANK YOU!!!!!
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
P.S. Keven at age ?? months, my little teddy bear :)
6 comments:
Thank you Barbara for putting your heart out there. Your love is fierce. I hope that you have a peaceful Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Thanks to YOU, one of many blogs I have recently begun to follow. I hope you have a blessed holiday and thanks for sharing.
Barbara,
Merry Christmas to you Barbara. I have learned so much from you and I am glad to count you as one of my friends.
You've been with me since I started blogging about Bryan and me, and I consider you a dear friend. A very merry Christmas to you, Barbara, and may 2011 be a year with bright hopes and wonderful outcomes.
I was sitting crying until I read your blog, so thank you for your love and your constant caring.
Merry Christmas to you too Barbara!! I'm praying for a good and peacful 2011! Hang in there with Anthony...hope and prayers are very powerful stuff and there's hope for every single addict out there!! Happy Holidays to you and yours!!! By the way, that is a precious picture of Kevin!!
Thanks for the mention, Barbara. It means a lot. You know, after being clean for almost five years now, I know one of the main reasons I stay clean is because I do not ever want to disappoint my mom again. Since I got serious about my recovery, my relationship with my mom has grown into something much better than before. Other than my son, my mom is the other reason I MUST keep my life on track. I realize now just how rewarding life can be, and how it is really nice to have my own place, my own car, and a fridge full of good food. The little things are still like a great accomplishment, and for someone who has been homeless...it is these little things that give us all the comfort in the world. I don't ever want to go back to living without ammenities. Anyway, Keven will get there...and he is lucky to have such a cool mom.
Much Love...T
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