Very Fortunate for Keven's Rehab

I have mixed feelings about writing this because I don't want to sound negative but I want to be honest.  Also, it makes  me mad but also makes me feel fortunate.

The current Rehab he is in is really, really good.  The people that work there, the personalized attention given to each person, the program structure, everything about it is high quality.  BUT, that's because you have to pay for it.  We have insurance that covered a large portion but check out how much Keven's 90 day stay would be without it:  $25,000!  Twenty five frigging thousand dollars.....that's almost a  year's salary for me when I am working!  For 90 days!  And the thing is - there are no guarantees.  If there was a guarantee that this would "fix" him it would be worth it because it would be like buying his future...but there are none.  A young man from there OD'd (and died) last week after completing the program and being out for less than a month.

On the other hand there is the Rehab he was in last year.  I am not knocking it, it was also wonderful but it was FREE to us and if we would have had to pay it would have been $9,000.  Still sounds like a lot of money but compared to 25 - 9 is not that bad.  I'd say that 90% of the people there were in the county paid program.
There were also very qualified and caring people working there, but the counselor/client ratio was a lot different and they simply weren't able to offer all the resources this other place has.

So the sad truth is - if you are "privileged" (i.e. have money) your get better treatment.  And even though my son was raised by a single  mom with a low income most of his live, he is still privileged because of his aunt and grandmother's generosity.  I don't know how the rest of my family feels about their "inheritance" being spend on Keven's rehab, but she said she would have spent it on his college education if not for this.  Don't even get me started on how depressing that is....college or rehab (i know many of you can relate).

So, all this to say - last night we had an AWESOME family group.  I wrote about it on my other blog.  Keven was called on the carpet and asked some tough questions that related to me.  I sat there listening with half my brain (the co-dependent half) thinking "oh no, this is so hard on him, poor Keven...) and the other half thinking "YES!  FINALLY SOMEONE HAD THE GUTS TO ASK HIM THIS QUESTION IN FRONT OF ME AND HIS PEERS AND FORCED HIM TO LOOK AT IT AND SEE IT EVEN IF HE WON'T CONFRONT IT DIRECTLY".  It was a breakthrough moment for me personally in MANY ways.

I even told the group and Keven that he did't have to use me as an excuse "I hate upsetting my mom" because guess what - your mom is stronger than she was two years ago when this hell started and she does not get upset in the same way and she can take it now!  It was awesome, cause it was TRUE!

Thanks for listening to all this.

I am headed out to Gilbert's funeral and will be reading  your blogs when I get home later.


Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara