March 12, 2011

Updates on the "Boys"

I am not longer helping Anthony, or involved in his life (much) but I do love the kid no matter how much I "hate" him.  With that said, he's back in jail.  He didn't show up on time for a parole appt. so he got arrested. He's in a one man cell because of circumstances I don't feel comfortable writing about (on the outside chance that some bad guy out there runs across my blog...highly unlikely but not worth the risk).  SO - he may get out Monday, he may be in for 2 weeks or 2 months.  Whatever.  I allowed him to call me since I had money left over on my phone from Keven's last time there.

About Keven.  I picked him up at the hospital and he was despondent and depressed.  I took him back to rehab and they decided he needed the highest level of care for a few days so they put him in their in-patient house for a few days.  Then they informed me that due to changes in his insurance policy there would be no residential coverage from now on.  He may have to leave CS Tuesday after court.

Our attorney is asking me to do whatever I can to come up with the money to keep him in CS for at least a month to get him stable because she thinks there has been way too much change (all his own doing) in the last two months and another one may push him over the edge.  I don't even know how much money we will need, I am assuming around 5K but it could be more.

His Judge is going to be very disappointed.  She had initially wanted him to do six months in CS and be done with it, then he would have one more year on probation.  BUT we could not afford that so she agreed to 90 days in "extended care" and 90 days in "monitored living".  But he had a relapse in ML so had to go to a higher level of care in "outpatient living" and then ended up in the damn hospital so he could get medicated for his anxiety.  This is WORSE than a relapse in the eyes of the insurance company, CS and possibly the judge.  Shit.  Here I was happy that he chose to put himself in a safe place rather than use and it ends up doing more harm to his future.

I don't know what's going to happen.  He insists that when all of us were so excited and happy that he was doing so well the first 90 days it was all a big act, he was faking it to get through and convince everyone he was doing great.  Sigh.  I don't know what to do or believe since like most addicts, he is a MASTER MANIPULATOR, an EXCELLENT ACTOR, and is very smart.  He knows how to play the system.

So is he really emotionally fragile or is he a brat that wants his way?  I don't think we can come up with the money.  He may choose to drop out and go to prison.  As much as I hate that thought, it would be a nice vacation for me mentally.  But the felony would remain forever...and it hard enough to get a job without one.

Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara


beachteacher said...

Oh Barbara,...sigh. I will continue to pray for Keven's peace of mind, and the right place for him to live and recover. I'm confused though by what you said. Why does the insurance and court consider that he went to the hospital for anxiety worse ?

I'm thinking of you two all the time and hoping that things will work that are the right path for Keven to be on.

And you yourself, so deserve some peace and need a break from this constant tension. Please hang on and work on visualizing a good outcome,..I really think that helps.

Midnitefyrfly said...

Uhg, I have been away from blogger for so long, and I am so sad to hear what is happening. (((HUGS))) to you Barbara!
My son is still struggling with anxiety and it is so frustrating that mental health is still taboo. I hope I can deter the need to self medicate, but the system is too slow!
I just learned that most felonies will go off of a FBI background check after 7 years. Is his felony a drug charge?

Anna said...

This sounds a lot like how I ended up paying 20,000 dollars in 90 days on addiction. How about phoenix house? Isn't that more reasonable? He needs the state funded court mandated type of rehab or is the wait to get in the problem? Could he go to a halfway house and wear an electronic ankle monitoring device. I have heard of that too. Good luck.

Syd said...

Wishing the best for you both Barb.

Annette said...

There comes a time when there simply are no more resources, any kind of resources, to poor into someone else's addiction. Even our own children. There is only so much money and if the well has run dry, it has run dry.

So many of the girls in treatment with H were there because of medi-cal. They would tell me, "You don't have to pay for this. Let the state pay for it." Which is another whole subject.....but if its all you have, then it would be worth *Keven* checking into if he wants to pursue getting well.

Step 1 Barbara...we are powerless over another's addiction and my life had become unmanageable. :o( Its a tough place to be in as a mom...but you are so strong. I know that YOU will find your way.

As to the Red Writing Hood....YES!!! I hope you pursue it. You were the first person I thought of when I checked out their site. I have been meaning to send you the link....but you know how that goes. Every time I would sit down at the comp, I would get distracted and forget. But now you have it. I hope to read some of your thoughts there. I think you would be a wonderful addition and I think you might enjoy it too. :o)

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