I still don't feel like talking about what happened, which is unusual for me since I obviously am very open on this blog. But I want to share, its not shocking or anything out of the ordinary for an addict, it just hurts me deeply this time so its hard to talk about. It hurts because its a sign of how far he still has to go, and that scares me. How much of his life is going to be lost to this disease? When will it be under control to the point that he can work, socialize, and enjoy life?
Here is what happened...when we were in court last week (Tuesday) the judge found out he got a ticket while driving his car. He has a valid licence and is legally allowed to drive, but she had not given him permission to drive. I was not clear on this - it seemed kind of nebulous to me. In my mind he was not allowed to have a car while in Cornerstone, but that didn't mean he was not allowed to drive ever. ANYHOW the point is, she was pissed off. Again. He had come to court feeling really good that day because Cornerstone had written a report for his file about what a help he had been to them with some new guys who had a bad attitude (they listened to Keven but weren't willing to listen to the staff). So he thought he was going to get positive comments from the judge, and got the opposite.
When he went into probation on Thursday his PO told him to come back in the morning on Friday and turn himself in because he needed to spend the weekend in jail for driving the car. Keven had done this before with no problem. Overnights and weekends or even weeks in jail are familiar to him and he accepts that as part of the program he's in, when you mess up you spend some time locked up.
But this time, he was feeling very defeated. He felt like he could not possibly get through this program (he still has 18 months more to go with the court program, but would have been out of Cornerstone in 2 more weeks). He decided the option was to run away and was seriously going to do it. I talked him out of that by reminding him I could take anything he did - except run. I've told him that a million times. Running from your problems is NEVER the right solution, it always makes them worse in the long run.
So, he decided that if he was going to spend the weekend in jail, he'd get high first. He hadn't even tried to buy anything yet, but was walking on a street in Santa Ana and the police stopped him for looking suspicious. (young white guy in an area known for drugs - legitimate reason to stop him). He immediately told the cops he was on probation (they are required by law to do so) and they immediately handcuffed him and took him in.
I have no idea what the charges are. He dropped the money so all he had on him was a lime. To me that was evidence enough. Why would you walk around with a lime in your pocket unless you were going to use it to dissolve heroin (it works faster than water...or something like that).
So not only did he violate probation but he picked up a new charge. We think he will be kicked out of Recovery Court which means he will have to serve time for his original offense (felony possession charge) which equals 16 months in prison minus time served, for him it would be 11 months minus 2/3 time (due to overcrowded prisons/jails, CA has 2/3 time served).
We will retain our wonderful attorney one last time to try and get the judge to agree to jail time versus prison time. Some people don't know the difference between jail and prison, maybe I'll write about that in the next post.
Thanks for caring about my son and me.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara