August 4, 2010

Loving and Hating Life

The contrast between Keven and Anthony right now is hearbreaking because its hard to rejoice in Ant's happiness* when Keven is tormented to the point of breaking down.  I wrote on my other blog about it.

*quote from Anthony's letter today:  "I am doing so frigging good I can barely stand myself :)  I love life, I love you, I love Kels, I love the way the future looks."

quote from Keven:  "Every minute of every day hurts to be alive".

quote from me:

help
i
don't
know
what
to
do

i
love him so
much

7 comments:

Anna said...

Has he ever considered methadone maintenence or suboxone. Suboxone might take the edge off for him. Just a thought.

ChaiLatte said...

Hugs Barbara. This crap isn't for weenies, that's for sure! You guys are always in my prayers.

~~BRB Queen~~ said...

Sending up prayers for both of you.

Carolyn said...

My heart is aching and breaking for you and Keven.. I wish I knew what to say. I wish I had an answer. I wish I could change all of this for all of us damn it.

Praying so hard for both of you
Carolyn

www.parentofanaddictcdcb.wordpress.com

Kristin said...

Keep being your loving kind open hearted-self, Barbara.
Maybe it is time to try the EMDR. YOU are the safety net he needs. Has the practitioner you found been doing EMDR long? You can ask and get a feel for the success rate.
I am so sorry it has been so difficult for you. I do know that there are few things are miserable as mental distress and addiction combined.
xx kris

Syd said...

I have found it best not to compare people and their states of mind. Hard to do but it made me much happier. I hope that you will get some help for yourself and focus on a solution for you.

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Keeping you both in my prayers

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