Today I got a call from Kelly. She was calling me from her break at work and I could tell she was very excited about something. Here is what happened to her today:
She and one of her roommates at the sober living home went shoe shopping.
When she got home and unloaded the shoes they bought and took out all that extra paper that comes in shoe boxes, she found a little box.
She opened it up and there inside was some black tar heroin! Her drug of choice! She was stunned, she could not believe her eyes. She showed it to her friend and then immediately ran and flushed it down the toilet.
It just happens to be her 60th day clean and sober. She said she didn't hesitate at tossing it, but she felt "guilty and dirty" all day even though she had done nothing wrong.
Is that flippin bizarre or what? I've never found anything in a shoe box in my life, what are the chances that a recovering addict is going to find heroin in a shoebox?
Needless to say, i am very proud of her :)
Also have been talking to Ant every few days. There was a stabbing at the prison so they are on lock down. He also sees heroin every day and has chose not to use.
Tonight he shared with me that for the first time ever he's actually reading the AA material instead of just attending meetings. He said "you won't believe it, there's a chapter in there that is ME! It explained so much, it was the first time I felt like someone understood me". Awesome words to hear! Now he wants to try to find a sponsor :)
As for Keven - I haven't talked to him much this week. He's never home. He seems okay but who knows. Just taking it one day at a time and not allowing myself to obsess over his choices.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
7 comments:
Barbara, not knowing Kelly and not necessarily wanting to rain on your parade, the story sounds rather fishy. The reason I am telling you this is because of the stories I hear every day at our office. My boss is a public defender and the clients and their stories I hear are mostly unbelievable. My daughter once told me that while living at a half way house she visited an old friend and had to go to the bathroom. While there, she found a bottle of hydrocordone on the sink and she walked away from it. I was so proud of her! Well, later her friend told me that a bunch of her pills were missing after my daughter's visit. (She got them for kidney stones) Just be cautiously optimistic because I know you want to believe her.
Love and hugs,
Helga
My new mantra: "Keep expectations low and enjoy the moment".
Good for Kelly,Ant and you! Sounds like you are detaching and letting go.
Yay! Although my first thoughts were indeed "something's fishy" about Kelly's story - I agree with Tonjia also: Addiction is indeed a living evil entity that stalks our children. I hope she's telling the truth. Ant sounds like the message is reaching him. I'm praying it sinks deep in his heart and that he truly seeks recovery. Praying for you and Keven too! I wish you a peaceful and restful weekend Barbara! Big hugs!
Bristol, am I being that naive? I considered that she was lying but why bother to call and tell me this story if it wasn't true? I never would have found out anything. I KNOW what good liars are, I can see through Keven and Ant so easily....not so much with Kelly, she's like me: it shows on her face. Of course this was a phone call so who knows!
Tonjia, weird stuff happens every day. Thanks for sharing this about your sister, I really want to believe this story.
Mom's SB, that's a GREAT one that I have kept in the back of my mind for a long time - need to pull it to the front of my mind and keep it there!
Kristin, maybe I am just too naive for my own good. Maybe I am weak and stupid. But thanks for your words. I do care deeply about people that struggle.
Syd, I feel like I am doing a much better job of that with Keven. With Ant and Kelly I don't have "a hold" so don't have to "let go" as much.
Her BS, thanks for the weekend wishes - back at you! I wish you many hours in your sewing room :) The story is fishy and that's so obvious to me now. But can you think of a purpose of her telling me this if it weren't true?
Because she is seeking your approval and wants you to believe that she is "strong" fighting her addiction. Why would my daughter tell me that she found pills in her friend's bathroom and then tell me she wlaked away from them? Same reason.
stranger Barbara...pray about it.
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