June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day, U2, Clarence, Depression

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there that love their children.  It takes a lot to be a good father, and even though you may wonder if your children are listening to you - they are.  They are listening and watching and becoming who they are partly because of you.  Knowing that you love them may be what keeps them going some days.  Wanting to make you proud is something that matters to them, even if they don't know it or show it.

Happy Father's Day to the mothers who are raising their children alone, especially a special young mom who reads this blog.  Its not easy to be the only parent.  I learned about halfway through that I could simply not be a father and a mother.  We are mothers doing doing it all, but we can't be fathers simply because we are women, not men.

The U2 concert was great, my friend had a wonderful time and that matters more to me than me having a good time.  Our seats were insanely good - so close to the stage.
But hearing of Clarence Clemons passing right before we walked into the stadium really put a dark cloud over the evening for me.

Yet, I felt depressed all day yesterday so I know it wasn't only losing a vital member of my favorite band of all time, its something more.  I don't know what it is but I feel it deep inside me right now.  The scary kind of depression that comes out of nowhere for no reason.

Going to visit Keven in a few hours.  I'm nervous because no matter how cheerful I act on the outside, he can tell when I am sad and it hurts him.  I don't want to cause him to feel bad just because I do.  But I guess that's how families work.

Hope all of you are doing good.  I will catch up on blogs as soon as I can.


Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara

6 comments:

Lou said...

I hope the visit goes great. Sometimes the sadness lifts when we see our kid doing well..because that is how families work! Love to you.

Anonymous Mom said...

Lou, you were absolutely right, I did cheer up when I saw Keven. I'm still very sad about Clarence but that will also fade with time.

Can I ask you something since you know a lot about health issues? Keven has been throwing up daily for a long time....months and months. I used to know what caused the vomiting, but now that he's not using I'm not sure what it is. He doesn't bring it up often so I sometimes think its stopped, but today he had to leave our visit to throw up then come back. He is not using, he's being tested four times per week (twice at rehab and twice by PO). He does not feel sick. I wonder if its anxiety? I'm taking him to the dr. this week but wondered if you had any thoughts on it.

Larry said...

I too hope the visit went well. And I hope you figure out the vomiting cause.

As for Mr Clemons... I'm very sorry to hear of his death. The first Springsteen record I bought was "Born to Run," and I remember watching the time counter on the CD player, wondering where all the time was as the songs played. Then they launched into "Jungleland," and then Clarence started playing, and I was simply enthralled. Epic song, and an outstanding sax solo.

Lou said...

When Andrew decided to go off his psych meds cold turkey, he threw up constantly for two weeks. It was a side effect of stopping suddenly. If Kevin has not changed/stopped any meds, and he has been checked for medical problems such as ulcer, etc. I would guess it's anxiety or other psychological reaction.

Good luck at the docs.

Anonymous Mom said...

Larry, Jungleland is one of the best of their songs - and they have HUNDREDS of good ones.

Lou, thanks, I have a feeling that's what it is. Between you and me and whoever reads this, he had Bulima for awhile, rare for a guy, but this seems different since it happens spontaneously. (If its not one thing, its another!!)

Cindy said...

Greatest sax player ever, what a loss! Thank God we have loads of recordings so his sound can live on.

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