WARNING: I am in a weird mood. Anyone who recognizes the above lyric and the "band" that performed it will agree....weird. I am not in love, and I have no one on my mind (except maybe David Cassidy).
I just finished getting caught up on all the blogs I read by parents of addicts and by addicts. It feels good to be caught up and feels good to see so many comments left for each other to support one another in this "adventure" (nightmare is more like it).
I've been blogging for six years now. For the longest time I had a blog where I just wrote about "whatever", it was called "Ramble On" in the beginning and then I changed the name to "Writing from the Inside Out". Not to brag, but at one time it was quite popular and I had loyal readers from all over the world that stuck with me through the years. I also had an "award winning music blog" that other music bloggers called "the neighborhood bar where we all stop after work to have a drink and talk about music"). Both those blogs have gone by the wayside because of this one.
I tried to hard to keep those blogs alive, I didn't care so much about the blogs themselves, but about the relationship built, the friends. There were people that I had "been with" through some good and bad times of their lives. One blog friend fell in love, got married and had two kids while I knew her. There were deaths, births, joys, sorrows. Most of those people moved on but some still come here to read (thank you) and I realize those people are with me for the long haul.
It seems weird to non-bloggers that these kind of bonds can be built with "strangers". We know better, don't we? And of all the bonds, none have been as important or strong as the ones I have formed with other parents.
Without you I don't know how I would have gotten through the last few years, and I don't want to go the next few without you.
This was not EVEN what I had intended to write just now! It just came out. I will write what I intended to write some other time. Right now I have to get in the shower then drive to Long Beach, then to Garden Grove to visit MY BOY. My wonderful son who today, makes me happy. There were days when I felt the opposite - I actually wondered if life would be better without him because of the intense pain, sadness, anger....I'll take the good times when I can get them.
(I have an Anthony update for later)
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara