October 20, 2011

I Dreamed I Was a Heroin Addict

Last night I had a very intense and disturbing dream.  In it, I was so depressed and suicidal I chose to become addicted to heroin and then when it got to be too much, just to kill myself. Toward the end of the dream I had bruises and scars on my arms, neck, etc.  I was totally shot out.  I remember crawling to an area that I thought was safe from from other addicts that would offer me the drug and lying there deciding I didn't want to die.  I wanted to live more than anything.  This guy came out of nowhere (he looked like Robert Downey, Jr.) and offered to help me.  I remember hiding a lot and being scared, then I woke up.

I FEEL REALLY TACKY FOR ADDING ALL THE ADS TO MY BLOG.  Its something I said I'd never do.  But I've been looking for a full time job for a few months and haven't even got an interview, so I am taking drastic measures and selling everything of value I own, putting ads on my blogs, etc.  Thanks for understanding.  

Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara

12 comments:

Ruth said...

Barbara you have no need to apologize for trying to earn a living with something you do very well. You are a gifted and authentic writer and provide a wealth of insight and information to people. Addiction doesn't even touch my life and I read just to hear what you have to say! I think you should even get a paypal account...you just never know who wants to pay it forward.

Take care and good luck on the job hunt. I really do hope and pray you find something that utilizes your talent.

Love Ruth

Anonymous Mom said...

Oh Ruth, thank you. That was really sweet and made me feel better.

Bristolvol said...

Your blog is the first one I check out every day, I don't care how many ads you put on it. What I care about is you and how you are doing and coping.

Anonymous said...

I check out Barb's blog first too!

beachteacher said...

me too ! :)

Anonymous Mom said...

Oh my gosh, I can't believe you guys read my blog first, I'm touched and thankful. I read whoever updated most recently first so it changes every day.

((((((Hugs to you))))))

Anonymous said...

Hi Barbara,
The ads are no big deal to me at all. I too, like Ruth above, am not dealing with any family addiction issues, but I have learned so much from you and all the blogs that are in your 'Favorites'. I, too, check your blog at least once, usally more often each day. Thank you for sharing your insights. No apology is necessary to me!
Shelley in SK

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Barbara, don't worry about the ads; it's your beautiful words that people want to see.

Let me know if I can help you, like if you need your resume updated or anything. I have a couple of free weeks ahead of me and I'm here if you need me.

(Unrelated) Do you use Skype? I just figured it out and would love to connect. I've been eager to meet you for so long!

Momma said...

I always check out your blog too...

Don't worry about the ads, and good luck on the job hunt.

btw, What a scary dream...

notmyboy said...

Do what you have to do. Just don't stop writing your blog. :)

Horrible dream. I had one, too. I'm going to blog about it as soon as I can.

Anonymous Mom said...

Thanks, ladies, I am glad to know you enjoy my blog, it means a lot to me.

As for you Linda Lou - I have never used Skype! But now I have a reason to check it out, it would be a hoot and a half to connect with you. Although I KNOW I will meet you in person sooner or later, you're only 6 hours away for crying out loud!

Lou said...

I think we all understand hard times. Any one of us could be out of a job tomorrow. Don't worry about your friends leaving you. We are not fair weather types;)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...