I love you. I believe in you. I will support your efforts to get clean by driving you to meetings, etc. and by listening and caring. I will not tolerate any more of your lies, stealing, manipulations or coercion. I know you can do it, when you are ready. I hope you are ready. You are the world to me...that song I made up for you when you a baby, I know you till remember it and I still mean every word of it. It won't be easy, but its not impossible. I will miss you if you are stuck in jail. Let me know what books you want, I love it that you're reading so much. I know what I've done wrong in the past and I am not going to repeat those mistakes. I never want to send you back to jail, but I will if you break the law in my home. I love you more than words can say. You will only understand when you have a child of your own. Please look at your future possibilities - you are just 18, your future is a blank slate and you can create it to be whatever you want. I will help you, I won't enable you. I've been sleeping in your bed cause of my back injury, but I have to admit, I like it in there, I feel close to you, I smell your cologne and smile. You can do this, K. One day at a time.
Love, Mom
5 comments:
(((Barbara)))
What a lovely letter to your son, such loving words. You seem to have found a bit of peace in your heart which I presume is from releasing this to your Higher Power. All of my peaceful moments are when I give up my illusion of control and let go. I hope that you continue to fill your heart with peace.
Lou, thanks. The letter was very impromptu and yes, I think I just LET GO last night because I feel a huge relief (peace?).
Zoe!!!!! Thanks sweetness. I miss you.
Mom, Yes, like I said in the comment back to Lou - it just sort of flowed out last night right before I went to bed. I feel good. I will remember the smiling son of two years ago and wait for his return and hope that the scowling son of this last year fades away for good.
Oh Barbara, I am so sorry - Mine just did 120 days and it does hurt. But it is also a big relief. She was safe, housed, fed, sober, and had LOTS of time to read and think! Your loving letter to your son is so full of hope. I will keep you both in my prayers.
Hugs Barb. Stay strong =)
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