July 14, 2011

I Need A Break!!!

I am distraught.  If you knew me "BH" (before heroin) you would know that I lived a very calm, peaceful lifestyle as opposed to one full of drama and crisis.   But now, well you know how it is.

Today, I had eye surgery (thanks for all the well wishes on FB!).  No, not to look better, unfortunately, it was just on one eyelid to remove a suspicious lesion.  Now I have half my eyelid stitched together, its swollen, red and hurts.

So in the midst of trying to relax and ice my eye, I am being inundated with phone calls from various people because the police are out to get Anthony today, they've been making their rounds and want to hide out at my house and have me lure him over here.

I agreed to try only because Anthony belongs in prison.  With him there so many lives would be better, safer, less stressful, etc.  Apparently he's been selling and "several people" have recently been negatively effected by him.  The cops would not elaborate.

The thing is - he was JUST HERE but I refused to see him, I left his iPod on the front porch. So to get him back here won't be easy.  Plus - do I really want to be that involved?  I am trying to disengage myself from this drama, not be in the center of it.

As far as Keven goes - he's never been so upset in jail before, he's a wreck wondering what it going to happen.  I know on one hand he may deserve that, but I hate knowing he's got himself so worked up, its really bad for him with his mental issues.

If I got vacation time - I'd be heading out soon for a quiet stay in a cabin by a lake....

 Hope and Love, Barbara


Lou said...

For crying out loud Barbara, get Anthony OUT of your life.

You have other family members there don't you? I never heard of the police asking non relatives to get involved in something dangerous like this!?

How do you keep it together???

Annette said...

Yeah, Barbara you do have the option of saying NO to the police. You are not obligated to do this. It is their job to find him if they want him and their goals do not need to include you.

Take good care of YOU!

Mrs F with 4 said...

Oh, Barbara, please don't! I really, truly, don't think you should get involved in it (well, any more than you already are). It gives me a very not-good feeling. If you try, and it fails, he will not forget; if you try and succeed, I fear it could be worse. Please, please don't.

I know, it is none of my business!

I do hope that your eye heals well, and both you and Keven find some peace tonight.

Syd said...

I would disengage from Anthony altogether. He may try to take revenge on you. He is not a good person for you or your son to be around. I hope that you will leave it alone.

Anonymous Mom said...

Thanks everyone - don't worry I CAME TO MY SENSES. I literally have not been in my right mind today due to being in surgery this morning....

I am not going to involve myself at all with anything to do with Anthony.

BMelonsLemonade said...

If you get vacation time, you can come to my family mountain house....it is very beautiful, peaceful, and quiet!
Much Love...T

beachteacher said...

Barbara...I just now read this...many hours after you wrote it. My immediate reaction is the same as others above. This is not your job to do,and you don't know every detail of what the police know or are thinking either. I'm so glad you knew not to do this. And you truly do need and deserve a break...and some peace for yourself.

Tori said...

Oh Barbara...this is horrible. Ridiculous that they are asking you to put yourself in danger. That is THEIR job let them figure it out.

That and your surgery and Keven, you do need a vacation. Probably the worst of it is is worrying about your precious son.

You need some peace. Maybe we could run away for a couple of days!!!!

Praying for you and Keven.

Rahime said...

Glad to hear you're not going to get involved w/ the Ant. situation...it's not your job to do the police's work for them. Crazy. I'd definitely tell them "no thanks."

Sounds like you could use that cabin time right about now!

A Mom's Serious Blunder said...

I have been a little wrapped up in myself lately and for that I am, sorry. I am so glad you are not going to get involved in "Anthony Drama". You come from such a very good place in your heart...I know you want to help. I understand the instinct to want to save Anthony BUT There is one thing that has become very clear and you need to listen and internalize this message. Ok? Here it goes.

Anthony dos not come from a good place in his heart. The Anthony you new as a little boy is gone and he is not coming back. Staying tangled in his life in anyway is dangerous and STUPID. There I said it.

I have really come to love you Barbara and I am afraid for you at times. When I say dangerous I am talking about shoot out on your front porch because some dealer thinks he might be staying at your house or Police busting down your doors. Just ugly dangerous stuff. I know maybe I sound like I am being foolish but it could happen! Keven will one day be out of Jail. He needs a strong mother with NO CHANCE of Anthony tempting him. If he is even in your life a little bit...you run the risk of starting this merry go round all over again.

The above are just my brutal honest thoughts please don't be offended. I just care.

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