Here is the plan made by his PO and agreed to by me:
He will attend "IOP" (intensive outpatient program) for several months. The first three weeks are the most intense. He goes five days a week and comes home to sleep here.
He do 90 meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor.
In the program he has a social worker, a psychiatrist, trained therapists, meetings, groups, etc.
the rules: If he drinks or uses he is OUT of the house and must live in a sober living home.
In the midst of this I am 90% sure that he;s bulimic. I know its rare for males but he throws up a lot after he eats.
I'm starting to date a bit here and there --- what do you tell a guy about your son when he's a dually dignosed mess?
6 comments:
That's the thing, of course, laying your baggage out on the first date would scare most people off. Then again, a good guy knows that everyone has baggage of some sort, some more severe than others.
You tell the truth Barbara. If this gentleman is true and your relationship is to be, he will understand and deal.
As someone who went through the dating process again just a few years ago, that was the one vow I made. I told every woman I met about The Couch and suggested they go read it to see the real me.
Good luck dear... you deserve happiness
The truth. If and when you want to. Its just a date. You aren't obligated to tell anyone anything.
Sounds like a good plan. Be strong.
I agree with Annette. It isn't necessary to do a Fifth Step with every man you date. Just keep it light and fun. And if it begins to become more than that, then it is time to share more about yourself. I don't think that a person has to reveal every wart all at once. That seems to take the fun out of just having a date. I think that those who are so inquisitive and interrogative about everything are really not minding their business but wanting to mind mine too. Not cool.
It took me about a six weeks of dating before I felt comfortable telling Ann about my son's drug problem. Have fun and get to know someone.. you are under no obligation to be that transparent until you feel serious about the relationship. Trust your heart - you certainly have a heart that can be trusted!
I agree with all the rest. There are good, decent men out there. My husband married me two years ago...I have five children the eldest of who is a drug addictd, alcoholic mess.
Have fun...
(praying for you and Keven)
Carolyn
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