Tomorrow Keven is suppose to start an Out Patient Rehab. He came home a little while ago, took money from our purses and told me he's on the run.
He said he'd been using today and had been drinking all weekend.
I told him if he left not to come back because he is no longer welcome in this house if he is using. He said he hates himself and can't control his actions and will probably die tonight.
I called his PO and left her a message.
There is nothing else I can do. I am numb. I am going to go to bed like it was a normal night and go to work in the morning and live my life and hope that he gets thrown back in jail before its too late.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
11 comments:
God is in control and he loves Keven even more than you do. Visulize placing Keven in Gods loving and light filled hands to care for him and protect him in a way that only the Lord can. He is lashing out but keep praying, he will make it through. When we trully accept that nothing we do helps and usually just extends the time they could be learning on their own without our worry, fear and constant need for interference so we can "falsly protect them/rather prolong their misery", For me, until I started t accetpt what is, that my son has a severe opiate addiction and came to belive that nothing I did or said made one bit of difference to date, I realized I had to give him the dignity to figure it out and go through any left over consequences. How else will our boys ever be men, grow from this addiction, beat it down and grow from it hopefully into happy, productive members of socieity. Hell, I just love my son now, keep my boundaries up and hug him/talk to him when I get a chance, but he can't life with me anymore, not only does it break up the harmony in the home for he and I, I simply feel he needs to get out in the real world and srart figuring it all out, can't let our fear of what might happen to them stand in the way of their journey/their growth...sucks but it is what it is. Sorry any of us have to go through this Barbara (BIG BEAR HUGS)! Time to mend to our own problems, cause once we do, there is no time for anybody elses, not even our kids.
Love said it so well Barbara. God is in control here. Turning Keven over to Him, placing Keven on the lap of Jesus is a positive thing for you to do. Praying for you and for K.
Thinking of you guys.
My heart breaks that ANY parent has to watch their child struggle with such demons. I wish there were magic words to give you the comfort and peace that I know you need. One day at a time (and maybe today it'll be more like one hour at a time)...
My prayers are with you and with Keven.
Yes, to all that Detaching with Love said. He has a Higher Power and no human person can be that HP. Unclench your fist and let him go, put his name in a God box, and go to sleep knowing that you have done what you could, now it is God's turn. Thinking of you Barbara and praying for all those who are sick and suffering, including Keven.
Amen...to all of the above. Let Barbra, for your own sake, let go. Keven will find his way if he wants to.
This told me more and I am so sad that Keven has fallen once again. Praying for his brain to work better and for him to want help
On Barbara! My heart broke for you when I read this. I won't bother to repeat or expand on what anyone else has said, just not that we are here.
I hope that today brought some better news.
Prayers and hugs
Carolyn
We are all with you in spirit...and we all care about you and Keven. I for one am praying that he stops and makes a better decision...and that you have peace(as much as possible) in the meantime.
Hugs,
Lori
All I have to add is get thee to an alanon meeting. Go everyday. You must stay strong. His addiction is testing you. Let go and puleeeeez take care of you. I never knew what that meant. I still struggle, but alanon helped my family to remain sane amidst the insanity. Don't let him suck you in this time. Stay strong. God is there with Keven. And with you, dear Barbara. Strength to You tonite, Kris B
THank you so much, so very very much. I will update now...
Post a Comment