February 28, 2010

Anthony Update

Today was the first time I was able to see Anthony in two weeks!  We went up to his rehab and sat at a picnic table under a tree and talked.  It was very nice.

How is he doing?  Well, its hard to say.  I felt sick and anxious when we left if that's any indication.  He said all the write things, but .... I don't know.

It was great to see him though!  He's been "bored" so he found a needle and thread and has been stitching a border around the collar of his jacket (its like the jacket to a suit...he loves that thing).  He looked great physically, bright eyes, big smile.  So we'll see what happens.

The place he's at seems nice, but comparing it to Phoenix House it felt more like an "institutionalized" setting than a warm, family setting.  At PH when you walk in the door you are greeted by a person, no matter what the hour of day it is, there is always someone at their little desk.  When you run into a resident in the hall, they ALWAYS smile and say something polite (they are taught to do this, something that is a whole new concept for some of them), there is art work done by the residents, they let someone recently paint a tree on a door and it looks so cool.  There's a positive vibe there that I didn't catch at this other place.  Yet - I think of the two places this is better suited to Anthony, and Phoenix House better suited to Keven.

Right now Kev has one of his friends over.  This is a kid that used to party but got a DUI and has chose not to hang around the old crowd and sees Keven as a safe person.  My son - a safe person!  Plus they both LOVE cars and I know and like his parents.  I hope they hang out more often.  This is one of the kids that came to me once worried about Keven's drug use and slowly stopped hanging out with him.  So its really nice to hear his voice in the other room.


Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara

8 comments:

Heather's Mom said...

That's great you saw A :) I so hope he is doing okay, after what happened in the past it is understandable you'd feel anxious, I just hope it was not a premonition... I so hope he does well!
Great news on K and his friend, I can imagine how happy it made you!
God bless :)

Tom at Recovery Helpdesk said...

I think Keven's having a home to come back to and an ongoing connection to Phoenix House are two important supports he has for his long term recovery.

Good to hear Ant is sticking with it.

Does he have a plan for when he gets out...where he will live and what kind of aftercare treatment he will have?

It's important for him to have a sense that he is headed somewhere and that his effort now will pay off in the long run.

I'm not sure I'd trust this treatment center to be on top of that...???

justLacey said...

Listen to your gut on Anthony and be careful with Keven around him. I hope he is successful, but he has been pretty hard core.
On a happier note I am glad to hear Keven is reuniting with old friends and he's ok. That is a good thing.

Lou said...

Peer pressure at K's age can reallly be a problem, if it is negative. Well, any age as far that goes. Good that he has someone who is committed to recovery as a friend. I read your last post, and I don't know about marbles, but I do know a relationship is usually a bad idea.
You will just have to see how that plays out, it's out of your hands.

Barbara said...

H's Mom, Its always great to see Ant, he's such a baby-faced boy for all he's been through. One day at a time for him. I am praying.

Tom,
I agree about PH, I am so glad Kev is still connected!!!

As for Ant, he does have a plan! He is hoping his parole agent will allow him to move out to the desert where he has a job lined up to work construction. In the meantime he's doing tattoos to save up money and has enough people lined up that he should be able to save enough for a cheap car. I'm afraid what will happen if he can't move - he says he "can't do it" if he's in this area. Not a good attitude.

Lacey, so far I've been with them every time they've seen each other and I plan for it to stay that way. Yeah, the other friend is a great kid...they met in soccer in 4thy grade, they were the two on the team that were daydreamers and hated the sport :)

Lou, yes it is out of my hands but I've let my thoughts be known. She was the initiator of this relationship and seems to be much more "into it" than him, I think he's more flattered by it than "in love". But still he does NOT need this. I am hoping his PO asks about it today, he listens to her :)

Kathy M. said...

It's wonderful that K and A seem to be doing well. Isn't it nice to know someone thinks of your son as a safe person? Love and hugs.

jherzanek said...

Love getting the updates! Perhaps your worst days are behind you....!

Syd said...

It ultimately comes down to whether Anthony is going to get honest. I'm glad that Keven is okay.

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