February 22, 2010

Updates & Trigger of the Day

Clarification:
The reason I have to drive him around is that his appointments are mostly about 25 - 30 miles from home, then immediately following one of those, he may need to be back down here.  Things are pretty spread out in California and unless you live in a big city with public transportation, you are forced to have a car to get around.  A bike would be great for the gym and back, we also have HUGE hills around here, it would be a good workout.  But for the most part, it requires a car.  His judge was not in today so we won't know about his license for another week or two.


he first official chat over at "junkjunk!" went really well!  There was a variety of people and the conversation was relaxed, helpful and fun. We are going to meet on Mondays and whoever can make it is welcome.  

I find myself amazed at all the triggers that surround an addict.  I will share some Keven's since he usually points them out to me.  He says it helps him.  He just tossed me a pen, smiled and said "this brand is a trigger".  I wanted to run around and throw out all the "Foray Medium Point" pens - but I won't.

Talked to Ant's girlfriend today and she reported that he LIKES it at The Rocque Center and is doing well.

Kev has court tomorrow and I am HOPING he gets his driver's license back.  It will add a layer of concern since it will make it that much easier if he wants to use, but I know that if he wants to use he will, not having a license is not going to stop him.  Plus, I don't think he's going to.  Call me optimistic, but I have a good feeling.

The reason I want him to be able to drive himself is because I am getting worn out taking him everywhere he needs to be!  We don't have public transportation here.   I am driving up to Santa Ana four to five times a week, or more,  now that he's home, and sometimes twice in one day! 


Monday:  Probation
Tuesday:  Court (every other week)
Tuesday night: Meeting at PH
Wednesday: I drive myself to Huntington Beach for a temp job for a few months
Wednesday night: possibly drive him to PH for a Meeting
Thursday: Probation, Dr. Apt.
Friday: Nothing
Saturday: PH Meeting
Sunday:  Nothing

This does not include driving him to school, the gym and to look for a job or to any social activity he does AND to four NA meetings per week!  (he can get rides for some of this).

But, you know what, he's staying busy, he's doing all the things he needs to do, and he's not using.  So I'm doing it all with joy and a smile (but I'm tired). 


6 comments:

Sherry said...

I can so relate - when J lost his license...before he went to jail, I was doing the same thing. It's funny, when I was reading your P.S. post (I read that one first) about the missing t-shirt, I was wondering what his daily schedule was like - if he was keeping busy/motivated. Back to searching for the t-shirt, the thought came to mind, that "We should not do for them, what they can do for themselves". I'm a lot like you, I like to help, but sometimes I think I've sent the message that he's not capable.

I'm so happy that he is doing well - I will continue to pray for you and Keven!

Bristolvol said...

P.S. Barbara, you are an angel!

Addiction--Mom trying to Detach with Love said...

I love that he is keeping busy and working his program, but please be sure to take care of yourself during the process. Maybe he could use some type of public transportation for some of the meetings until the license thing gets done, so you can rest:) Much love..Renee

Syd said...

Barbara, does he have a bicycle? If there is no public transportation then perhaps cycling is a good way to get there and get exercise. I used to cycle 100 miles just for exercise. Anyway, hope that you take care of you.

Sharon G said...

Sorry have not been here for awhile, but I am SO HAPPY he is home!!!!!

Barbara said...

Iris, excellent question! Yes there is a reason: not enough people used it so it was not cost effective for the bus company. There is a train that goes about 60 miles north or south, but you have to have drive car to get to the train station. A lot of commuters leave their cars hear and take the train to avoid the bumper to bumper morning and evening traffic.

For old people or disabled people there is a "Dial a Ride" which is like a mini bus that picks you up at your house.

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