I have to admit, I felt very proud of my son tonight. Hearing what his peers and the staff had to say about him touched my heart because it reinforced to me what I've seen with my own eyes: He's grown a lot in this program, he's learned powerful tools to help him, he's found support and friendship, he's gained confidence, he's faced reality.
They opened up the group for questions and he was very honest. He said he didn't know for sure if he'd use again or not but that he was working hard to maintain his sobriety (6 months) and was determined not to use, but the urge was still there. He said the urge to use has lessened a lot since he first go there. He said he only had two of his old friends that didn't party, friends from second grade that live on our street (they were the three musketeers growing up).
The most important aspects of this entire program for him has been a) the therapeutic community environment b) the counseling he got there and c) the dual diagnosis support group. Understanding his underlying mental health issues has been a huge part of his recovery. The guys he's bonded with most are also in that group and he will continue going to it every Wed. night.
One of the staff asked permission to talk about his panic disorder and she told the group that in all her years in counseling she had never seen anyone with panic attacks as severe as Keven's. (She was the one that called me to come take him to the hospital one night when he was off the charts and had passed out from an attack).
I am proud of Keven for recognizing that his meds were all jacked up and that he could not stand it...he was literally ready to either run away (or worse) but he didn't want to - so he had himself committed to the mental health ward at the hospital for three days. That was the BEST thing for him because they took him off ALL his meds and finally got him on the correct combination.
Its like everything is falling into place. There's a couple of guys that live in our area, around his age that left Phoenix House last week, he will stay in touch with them (one of them cracks me up and he's a musician, I really like that kid and hope they stay friends).
I feel so hopeful. So many people said things about his character, his kindness, great talks they'd had, his sense of humor. He SMILED a million times tonight. When he smiles, I swear my heart smiles inside me. He really is a special person. I've always known that, but don't all mothers think that about their kids :)
I'm ready for him to come home, but part of me will miss going to Phoenix House and seeing the other residents and staff I've gotten to know and care about.
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
10 comments:
I am happy to read this post. It makes me hopeful that Keven will do well and be successful. I really want this for him and for you. I think him keeping involved in the program will help until his life is running more smoothly on the outside. My ex husband went to AA 4 times a day for the first 6 months and gradually tapered it off until his current once monthly schedule. I think it helped to keep him grounded when things were still difficult and he couldn't drink to anymore to put himself in a fog. His younger brother died at 39 when his liver gave out from drinking. That started him on his binge, and it took years to get him to stop. He has been sober now for about 5 or 6 years and I am grateful for that for my daughter. I think Keven can be successful too. He has the support of family and friends and he has so much going for him that he probably doesn't even realize yet.
Lacey, one of the questions asked of him last night was what was steps he was taking to stay on track, he said he needs structure so going back to the Wed. night meetings and also going there on Saturday's to help "run the house".
Bond,thank you so much. You're such an encouragement to me.
YAY! Great news!!!! I went to sleep with you on my mind and had the most in depth, detailed dreamed about coming to meet you and Keven. It was so real it feels like I really got to spend time with you both.
Congrats on his accomplishments!!!!
Congratulations to you and Keven!
Midnite, I hope that dream comes true someday!!!
Tom, Thank you!
Everyone, the happiness was short lived for Keven. Last night after the wonderful send off, two of his friends were terminated from the program. They both did something wrong I won't go into details, but he was so BUMMED when I talked to him today. One was his newest friend who had hopes for staying friends with (he did not use, he did something else); the other was an older guy that Keven was extremely close to. It really upset him. But, its part of life.
prayers for keven and you.. keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed. (hugs)
My first thought on reading this was, "I hope he still gets to stay in touch with Phoenix House, maybe volunteer there or something." And it seems like he's going to.
I love his reality facing, his growth, his hope and yours. May he stay sober forever.
I agree that what he needs right now is structure. Sometimes that isn't fun, but it helps keep you on track when things are difficult. I am praying for Keven every day to be successful. It's like a new start to his life!
I'm sure you know how lucky Keven was to get into such a reputable place. I read their program on their website, and it is excellent. Now Keven has a supportive, loving, educated about addiction family to come home to. All things point to a great start! I'm so happy for you Barbara.
Oh, Barbara, I'm really excited to read this!!! It sounds like a great program to have set up your son with his recovery foundation! I pray for your family and that your son will make use of any and all resources and tools at his disposal. One day at a time with this stuff! xo
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