A Former Addict's Thoughts on: the "E" Word

 

These words come from a former addict:

"Just as little comforts in jail (a letter, a snack, a visit) make something rather unbearable tolerable, little comforts in life can make addiction tolerable. I can see (cause the lights are now ON and I am not in a dark place) how an addict needs total isolation and despair to find their inner fight."

Here is the link to her wonderful blog: 

My Sacred Insanity

When I found her blog I stayed up for hours reading every single post.  Her life story is full of tragedy, drama and heartache - but she has overcome every obstacle and still growing steadily on her journey. 

In today's post she talks about how it felt to look back on using meth, and how easily the good memories of using can pop up.  I think its so helpful to hear things from the standpoint of an addict or former addict.

The message she has for parents of addicts is one I hear over and over....but can never hear often enough.  A lesson I am STILL struggling to learn.

Yep, the dreaded "E" word.  

As I visit blogs lately I see a theme....some of us do things we know are enabling our children/family member.  Or we just slip and then realize "OMG I just enabled!"  Sometimes its a matter of not truly understanding the difference between Loving and Enabling.

Its something we all agree is NOT HEALTHY but so many of us fall back into that pattern and then have to live with all the negative consequences of how horrible it feels to want so badly to do the right thing, yet fail.

We feel guilty, embarrassed, angry at ourselves, worried what damage we've caused, concerned of the what others will think of us, self-critical, ashamed....the list goes on.

Its like enabling to the loved one of an addict is our form of RELAPSE.  We're  compelled to help because we LOVE our addict so much!  Its hard for the heart to agree with the mind when it comes to "help" vs. "harm".

So, all this to say, read Midnitefyrfly's blog.  She's a gem, a beautiful soul with a lot to say.

UPDATE!!!  Also another must read today is Lisa C's blog, Loving and Parenting an Addict, which is also on the "E" word.  I just read her post out loud to my sister and we both just nodded our heads in agreement through the whole things.  Sigh.  Can someone please hit rewind on my life and let me redo the last few years????