November 18, 2009

I am not stressed out, worried or uptight


Using the power of positive thinking and not allowing my mind to accept anything negative.  I refuse to be a wreck - even though I feel on the verge of a breakdown.  Tomorrow is it...the day we have been waiting for and praying for.  Why am I so uptight?  Well, lots of reasons but to summarize:

I want this to be it.  I want him to succeed.  I want him to do well.

I know we all want that.  I also know the risks, etc.  I just can't let myself worry.

~~~~~

We dropped off a small duffel bag of his stuff up there this afternoon (my sis went with me).  We had to sit and wait in the hallway because they had an "incident" while we were there, a woman was handcuffed and escorted our by two females officers (I think one was probation the other was some sort of cop but not in a uniform).  It was a bit disturbing, just because it was a reminder of what can happen.

There is a very small chance that something will go wrong tomorrow and he won't be allowed in.  It has to do with his meds, long story short:  if they changed is RX in any way while he was in there and it does not match what I dropped off today, he will be turned away.  CRAP!  I wish someone would have told me that before so I could make sure.  Oh well.  Its in the hands of God, not mine.

I forgot to ask them about the 30 day lockdown period.  I wanted to know when we can start going to family group night.  I think we have to wait two weeks, maybe four, maybe none?  I will call tomorrow.

Some weird stuff going on in my personal life.  I won't even go there.  Just please pray for me.  I've been pretty strong up till now but this is a whole new chapter and a very serious one.

9 comments:

Midnitefyrfly said...

I am thinking about you and the big day tomorrow. I know there are more questions than answers at a time like this. Hoping the answers that are revealed over the next few weeks are powerful and encouraging for you both. ((HUGS))

Rygel said...

anxiety can really become disabling. but you can't affort to get sick yourself. One day at a time

ChaiLatte said...

Praying that Keven gets in and praying for YOU Barbara. (((HUGS)))

Tall Kay said...

Accepting our powerlessness is the first step in recovery. Faith is trusting before we can see around the next corner. For today, try to give it to God...and get a good nights sleep, okay? Big hug and prayers to you and Keven.

Midnitefyrfly said...

I have given you an award... please come by my blog and get it :)

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

I am thinking about you Barbara and know that God will take care of both you and Keven. I think the world of you and you have been a loving inspiration to me. I am here. (((HUGS)))

Sue said...

No wonder you're stressed. It would be sorta weird if you weren't.

What happens with family night? That sounds like it will be a good/freaky thing! ;)

Prayer for your personal life

justLacey said...

Im sure Kevin will work out. I am more worried about the personal stuff. I hope everything is ok. If you need help ask.

Syd said...

It isn't in your hands. If you can just let go and feel the stress leave. God is right beside you...really.

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