Keven didn't say too much about the talk last night. He's back to not talking me much. He said it went well and that he told the woman leading it that everytime he'd shown up for the class (when he was in it) he was high. She said that didn't suprise her. I'm thinking: why did you have to say that? I guess it doesn't matter, but sometimes its as if he reminices about a lost love when discussing heroin and that makes me feel ill.
My computer is messed up.
Got a letter from Ant today and miss him SO MUCH. I just want to squeeze him. I sent in a visiting request form so maybe I can soon...
Will catch up on blogs later after I fix this computer issue which will keep me up all night if I don't :( I NEED it to do my work tomorrow (at least I can get online)
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
5 comments:
Thanks for the update. Hopefully Keven is reminiscing about the past, but continues to leave it there - in the past.
Oh, that would be great of you could visit Ant!
God bless.
Love & hugs!
I reminice a lot about my active days. I glorify the high in my head and tend to focus on the good times. I have to constantly remind myself of the reality of addiction, of how it felt to get sick, how I almost died, how my whole life centered around the drug.... its definatly a daily battle to this day
He was honest about his being high in the class. That is a good thing.
I think it was good he was honest also.
I just spent two days with my niece and her mom (niece has been clean for 2 years now). I found it amazing that she still talks longingly of her drug experiences. One example...we were watching the Electrical Light Parade and the float with the catapillar from Alice in Wonderland went by (he's floating what looks like a marijuana bong). Both her Mom and I commented at the same time that Alice in Wonderland was not our favorite of the Disney stories (too odd); and she commented, I loved getting high on acid and watching it. It is my favorite because of that. And then she laughed.
That comment made the hair stand up on the back of my neck; but then I thought about it later; and to live with what they have done (possibly for years) they have to be comfortable with it, even if they have left it behind. Otherwise, I think if it was me, I'd simply think I had no choice but to jump off of a bridge.
This is a long comment (sorry) but I think Kevin is still finding his way and he has to acknowledge that part of his life, even as he leaves it behind.
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