Everyone who reads and comments here: THANK YOU for your support and concern on my last post. Last night I was a wreck. Today is a new day and Keven and I have both been busy, in fact I haven't even seen him today (but talked to him on the phone). I was at work all morning then by the time I got back here he was at a dr. apt.
I wish I could respond to each comment individually but now that I am (gratefully and happily) working again I don't have the time, but will TRY, because it means a lot to me to keep this a two way conversation.
Here is some more info:
Most importantly, Keven has not been using. I know this because he's drug tested twice weekly (Monday and Thursday). It would be impossible, if he uses Fri - Sun it would show up Mon, if he used Mon - Wed it would show up Thurs. His PO tests him, not me, so its a good, real non-fakable test where he's observed. (thank God).
Second, I said "CO2" yesterday but what I meant was Nitrous Oxicide, it looks like those CO2 cylinder's but its not the same. Ugh, its very dangerous.
Lastly, I don't know what else to say at the moment. We're taking it one minute at a time and I am waiting for him to get home and tell me what his psych. said. I really love his doctor, he counsels him and is considered an expert in his field, we are lucky.
Of course his dr. is in Santa Ana (drug buying area), so are most of his meetings. Ironic how the good and the bad reside so close to each other.
I'll let you know what happens next....thank you for caring and praying!!!! We need it!
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
11 comments:
I am glad that you are feeling better.
Yay! Sounds good! Hang in there, and remember to take good care of you! Minute by minute turns into hour by hour, day by day... Big Hugs! :)
Glad that you are doing better today. Take care of yourself.
You will be ok! One day at a time. It's easy to get scared. Just don't have any expectations, that way you'll just get pleasant surprises. Take care.
You sound really good. Strong, clear, like you are taking it minute by minute which is all you can do. Let his sobriety be his....and you nurture your emotional health in whatever ways that work for you. ((HUG))
I'm glad you feel better today...and that Keven didn't use! Hope you have a restful sleep!!
I keep forgetting you're back at work! I hope it is going well :)
Appreciate any updates you give when you can - go easy on yourself :)
I'll keep up with my prayers for you, K & A!
So happy to hear you sound better and SO GLAD that Keven is still clean ! Weird,..but as you know,my son is also clean, but early in his sobriety and he ALSO almost used TODAY. He made a very bad choice and went where he shouldn't have,..a friend's apt. where a clean friend(girl)was. However, he well knows that her boyfriend and other roommate use, big time. They weren't home and wouldn't be back 'til later,..but then he ended up staying there longer w/out a ride(another additional situation he caused)...and the using duo came in and got HIGH IN FRONT OF HIM. It's a miracle he didn't go along w/them !
Anyway...I am SO glad that Keven and my son are both still clean right now...this is the only moment we have. One day at a time.
Peace to you and praying for Keven.
Anna, thanks. I felt better...now I am worried again. He's so depressed and not talking to me much. Not good.
HBS, that's so true, minute by minute!
Syd, I am trying, thank you.
Bristol, thanks the reminder about no expectations...I can see that I began to have them and I can't go there.
Oh Annette, I wish I felt strong right now. Some hours I do...but this one...not so much.
Sherry, thank you. I hope he doesn't. I am so unsure now. He seems so despondent.
Heather's Mom, yes, I like my job a lot! Thanks for always praying for my boys, it means so much.
Bea, WOW. I am so glad your son didn't use! I hope he realizes how dangerous that was. Whew. I hope we can both keep saying "my son is still clean".
Barbara, just getting a chance to comment as my computer at work is blocked. You know, sometimes I just remember that all the worry, all the "monitoring", etc., it has never worked, it never made me feel good and it never made my son get or stay clean. All we can do is take care of ourselves and pray for them. I am glad you had a good day at work and you enjoy your job, that is a blessing. It is also a blessing that he is at home, in his room and not using. Try to accept and give it to God. You are doing so well, you may not feel like it but you really are. Much love and prayers.
Yeah I knew you meant nitrous...glad things are brighter
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