I just feel compelled to say that there is hope no matter how bleak or scary the situation seems today.
Some of you may not have been around during the agonizing days of despair when I didn't know if my son would live or die. I've been there. Oh dear God I've been there - its the worst place I have ever been. I know that feeling that your guts are being ripped out, that your heart literally aches, that you feel completely helpless and have no idea what to do to help. I remember knowing I could not help - it was OUT OF MY CONTROL and how that was sort of like spinning down into a dark hole, alone.
I remember the anger. I even remember (this is hard to admit but I will say it anyhow) thinking it would be better if he just died and got it over with because seeing him half dead and endangering his life was too much to bear. And he was so young. Just turned 18 when all this really hit the fan.
BUT....today he's doing good. It can get better. I was told the odds were against him, I was sad and afraid when I read of others who stayed in this lifestyle for years. But you NEVER KNOW what one thing will happen to change their path.
And of course - he could fall right back there at any second. I know that but don't focus on it.
Something could happen tomorrow to be the turning point for your child. For Keven it was jail/rehab/medication. Lisa C's son, Bryan, is going great because after several rehabs the right one really helped him!
I don't know if these words help or not. I can remember feeling angry when people told me to have hope. I honestly lost it a few times and was ready to give up. And even if I would have given up hope, I think he still would have found the path to the OC Jail! Which crazy as it sounds, I am grateful for!
I am hoping that his third time in Chino prison does the trick for Anthony.
We all make mistakes as parents, but its NOT our fault. We love our kids. If we didn't - we would not feel this way.
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
8 comments:
Anything short of death equals hope.
Thanks Barbara, without hope I wouldn't have much right now. Sometimes I have to really reach for a glimpse of hope, other days it feels stronger, as long as I don't lose it all together. You are loving and caring for so many, what a great supporter to have in my corner!
Yes, there is hope. It is a grand thing that keeps me going. I have an optimistic spirit. I'm grateful for that and knowing that there are larger plans my Higher Power has for me.
I so agree! Annette said it - unless they are dead, there is hope!
Wonderful post, Barbara. You are always always always thinking of others and reaching out. I'm so glad that you are here in this community. We are all lucky to have you in our world. Have a great day!
That's so true. Thanks for sharing your experience, strength and-- especially--Hope! Hugs.
Where there is life there is hope. Your compassion gives me more hope about us humans.
I am new to your blog and my 21 year old daughter is a heroin addict. I can so relate to the loss of hope feelings and all the different ranges of emotions we feel. I will be following your journey and will keep you in my prayers. Thanks for sharing experience, strength and hope with us.
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