This weekend I thought about all the parents and loved ones of heroin addicts and of the addicts they love. I prayed, cried and got angry and scared for all of us.
Life changes when someone you love becomes and addict.
You don't ask for it, you don't want it, but it happens and you're stuck dealing with it.
Same for the addict. I don't think any of them wanted to become addicted and lose control of their life, relationships, safety, health, finances, reputation, possessions, self-worth.
Its hard for both sides to understand. Both sides suffer. There is usually a lot of anger and worry coming from the parents and loved ones and the addict is consumed with figuring out how to get more heroin.
Kelly's sponsor met with her parents this weekend to help them understand a bit better why she can't "just decide not to do it again." Wouldn't it be wonderful if it were that simple?
Keven told me last night he still misses it and thinks about it every single day. I don't like knowing that but am glad he can talk about it (when he stops talking I will worry). I wonder - is he done or is he just waiting to be off probation? If so he's got another year to wait.
I don't think Kev will throw all this away at this point in time and go back to square one. But he could. That's what sucks the most - you never know. I wrote the other day about how my high school friend is back in jail - he wrote me, it has been 15 years. FIFTEEN YEARS?!? WTH?
I am trying to psych myself up for the start of my new job, I leave for work in 20 minutes!
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
6 comments:
Hopefully you had a very good first day at your new job. I probably won't go on junk junk tonight because I had trouble sleeping again last night and want to go to bed early. I'll catch up with you soon!
Well in the end, to be able to stop she WILL just have to decide not to do it again. Is it easy? No, certainly not. People do it though and she may crave it, but she is the only one that can control whether she decides to use again or not.
I swore I left a comment here but its gone. Ugh, don't you hate that!
Vinny, no offense taken. Good for you for quitting! Been there done that and its not easy.
Bristol, thank you! You will be greatly missed tonight but I am glad you are doing the right thing by taking care of yourself!!
Lacey, not much in life is easy is it? Yep, people do it, I hope she's one that makes it.
I hate not being able to post at my job now, makes it so much harder to keep up with my blogging..ha! I used to take my break at work and try and keep up. I was thinking of you today and hoping your first day was FANTASTIC! They are lucky to have you;)
You are definitely right, not so much in life is easy. Sometimes the things worth having or doing are downright hard! I think it's supposed to teach us to appreciate things, but sometimes it just pisses me off.
Good luck with your job. I don't think any of the things about being addicted are simple or easy. But there are those who do recover. I hope that Keven is among those who do.
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