January 5, 2012

Let Go, Let God

When Keven got out of jail recently I promised myself that if he started using I would get myself to An-Anon meetings.  It took me until this last horrific meltdown to actually go to one.

It really does help.  I don't know anyone from my meeting yet, but I intend to get to know them.  I just cut and past a ton of Slogans, promises, etc. - dang, there sure are a lot of them, but I guess that's the point, to get you through anything.

Today I let go and let God rather than worrying myself sick (I did feel a bit sick).  As we drove up to see Keven's PO (did I mention he changed his mind and wanted to see Keven in person TODAY?) I prayed the whole way.

Thankfully, the PO was "cool" (kev liked him) and ordered him to a) get into a sober living by next Thursday b) find a job and c) get a psychiatrist and be evaluated

I am pleased with all of this, but I'm sure Keven will drag his feet in finding a sober living.  I am helping him find a doctor because that overwhelms him and at this point in time, I think he still needs assistance with some things.  The trick is finding a good one that takes his insurance.

As for the other one:  Anthony checked in to Unidos today (Keven spent several months there, its a good place).  He did it on his own, no court order.  I have no expectations.

Here are all the slogans, etc:

~ Easy Does It ~ Keep It Simple
~ How Important Is It?
~ First Things First 
~ Live And Let Live 
~ One Day At A Time 
~ Let Go And Let God 
~ But For The Grace Of God, there go I 
~ Think! Listen And Learn
~ Keep An Open Mind
~ Let It Begin With Me 
~ Together We Can Make It 
~ Be Honest 
~ Keep Coming Back ~
~ Feel Good About Saying "No" 
~ Fake It 'Till You Make It! 
~ Use It Or Lose It 
~ Talk And Grow 
~ Let Go & Let God 
~ How Important is it? 
~ Is it worth my Serenity 
~ Whats to Be will Be 
~ We Are all Different
~ This Too Shall Pass
~ My serenity is proportionate to my acceptance.
~ You can't control the wind but you can set your sails.
~ The mind is like a parachute, it works best when open.
~ Thank You God for reminding me not to interfere with Your Divine Plan.
~ Listen not to criticisms or accolades both take you off your path." A. Einstein
~ Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." B. Franklin
~ If you are looking in the past or the future, you're not living in the now. 
~ The present is a gift. The gift is now.
~ Live for today. 
~ Live for each and every new moment. 
~ Be gentle with yourself.
~ Fight for yourself, you are worth it, if you dont who will?
~ Say what you mean but don't say it meanly.
~ Expectations are premeditated resentments.
~ Take the blame out of me & all u get is bla bla bla.
~ If HP brings you to it, HP will walk you through it.
~ Change your attitude change your life.
~ Insanity is doing the same things over an expecting different results.
~ Dont go to the hardware store for bread.
~ My serenity is proportionate to my acceptance. Recovery is self-discovery.
~ Happiness & knowledge increase only as we share it with others.

Alanon's Three C's: Alcoholism/Addiction:
You didn't CAUSE it, You can't CONTROL it, and You can't CURE it!
3 C's ~ You Can Control Yourself, You Can Change Yourself, You Can Cure Yourself 
3 A's ~ Awareness, Acceptance, Action
ANGELS EXIST but some times, since they don't all have wings, we call them FRIENDS.

EGO - Edging God Out ~ Courage is fear that has said its prayers. ~ Progress not Perfection.

FEAR ~ Future Events Aren't Real
YANA ~ You Are Not Alone
HELP ~ Help/Heal Ourselves/Others Purge Emptiness
MYOB ~ Mind My Own Business
FAITH ~ Finding Answers In The Heart
HALT(S) ~ Hungry Anxious/Angry Lonely Tired Sick
 or Honestly Actively Lovingly Tolerant
ANGER ~ A Negative Grudge Endangers Recovery
QTIP ~ Quit Taking It Personally
PUSH ~ Pray Until Something Happens
FINE ~ F**ked Up Insecure Neurotic
ASK ~ Ask Seek Knock
HEART ~ Healing Enjoying And Recovering Together
HOPE ~ Happy Our Program Exists ~ healing/helping ourselves purge emptiness
GOD ~ Good Orderly Direction
JADE ~ (dont) Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain
FROG ~ fully relying on god
DETACH ~ dont ever think about changing him/her&/or dont even try and change others
FEAR ~ future events aren't real 

In recovery were all like infants, first we crawl then we can stand. We take steps & learn to walk before we can run free. 

FACE IT: Become aware of the thinking/behaviour that is a problem
TRACE IT: Try to establish where you think it comes from and why
EMBRACE IT: Accept that you did the best you could with what you had at the time but it no longer needs to be that way. Forgive yourself.
ERASE IT: The thinking/behaviour no longer serves your best interests. To erase it, ask God to remove your shortcomings. Refuse to participate in the same thinking and behaviour patterns. You may 'slip' from time to time but thats ok, it's a process and it's about progress not perfection.
REPLACE IT: Nothing exists in a vacuum therefore if you remove something you need to put something else in it's place. Where possible fill the void with Gods love. You can replace negative thinking/behaviour with positive, healthy responses. Use the tools of the program. Sometimes we try something new and it doesn't work out for us, that's ok too, just try something different. 


Mike said...

I know all of these well. My father used these for years. Very wise and simple words/slogans to try to live by. It is a day to day process.

Denial, its not just a river. :-)

Anonymous said...

Hi Barbara,
I am so glad to hear that the PO appointment went okay and that Keven was able to get an appointment with him/her today! There is a plan in place and that must feel good to you. Good for you to head to some ANON meetings. You not only will get support, but you will also have a lot to offer others at the meeting.
Did you ever notice that things just never stay static in life? When times are bad, they eventually get good (better), and when times are good, they eventually turn bad. I guess that's where the saying comes in that we constantly need to "roll with the punches" and that "the only thing for sure in life is change". Take care.
Love and prayers,
Shelley in SK

Annette said...

Wow, what an extensive list. That was great...some of those I had never heard before. My favorite thing that I heard in Alanon was "just for today." I could let go and let God just for today. Then the next morning I would try it again. It made it into a manageable increment of time for me. I couldn't let go forever, but I could just for today.

Syd said...

Barbara, I'm really glad that you went to a meeting. You will find friends there who understand what you are going through. And just having those phone numbers and being able to share at meetings will help. It is a safe place to cry, to laugh and to feel peace. As is said at every meeting, "Keep coming back."

Lou said...

Wow, Barbara, pretty soon you will know exactly what day the pigeon story is found in the daily reader..LOL

(hint: March 14th)

Anna said...

I am so glad you found an alanon meeting that you feel comfortable with. My blogger friends and alanon have kept me sane through many a trial and tribulation.

Kathy M. said...

Hi Barbara,

So glad you found Al-Anon! It's been such a blessing to me.

I was moved by your post on the pat moore foundation website.


Jarred said...

At the risk of sounding like a broken record player, I want to again recommend you check out Melody Beattie's book, "Codependent No More. I know it's helped me a lot (if you check out my "Whiny Fag" blog, you can read some of my own thoughts from reading it), and I think you might find it reaffirming and reinforcing for yourself.

I'd offer to send you a copy, but I've already given away both my printed copies. (I'm seriously thinking about buying four more copies to have and hand out.)

Barbara said...

Mike, thanks you made me smile.

Shelly, thank you. And yes, you're right on about life being static!

Annette, I reminded Keven of "just for today" yesterday because he feels overwhelmed. Yeah, this is a long list, I hadn't seen all of them before, but most.

Syd, thanks, I knew it would be happy to hear it. I can't wait to go back tomorrow morning.

Lou - LOL! Is that in "Courage to Chnage?" Its the only reader I have.

Anna, well if anyone I know has a reason not to be sane - its you. So your life is a huge testimony to what support can do for a person.

Kathy, thank you very much! I'm glad you stopped by here :)

Jarred, sweetheart, I'm sorry I didn't mention before that I have read the book (hard to tell?) And also have the book she wrote called the 12 Steps for Co-dependents which I am going to start re-reading soon...like tomorrow.
Thank you. I will go check out some of your whiny posts :)

Kansas Bob said...

Letting go is really hard because it sometimes takes a LOT of letting go before anything ever happens. That said, I admire you for letting go and hope you find strength to continue the letting go journey.

Liked the cliches. I may copy a few of them and comment on them at my blog this weekend.

lulu said...

May I add this one?

~~~Let go .....or be dragged~~~

Barbara said...


That's a great one, cause its SO TRUE!

Thank you :)

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