January 26, 2012

The time has come

We've allowed Kev to stay here for aprox a month (with the exception of a hospital stay and 3 nights at the sober living that kicked him out for nightmares).  We are ready for him to move.  Not sure if he is, but he's going to have to even if he doesn't want to.  He seems more stable, more calm.  He's actually been pleasant most of the time and I am even going to miss him a bit!  But its time.  Now, to find a decent sober living that has a house manager that cares about recovery.

Anthony called again the other day from a number I didn't recognize so I answered.  I could tell he wanted a ride.  I was hurt but not surprised that was his reason for the call.  I said no (again) and he said he'd call me when he got to this area.  He called that evening, twice.  I didn't answer.  He texted me "are you busy?"  I didn't reply.  I think he got the message.  I hope so.  The weird thing is - this time I don't feel bad about it at all.  Its like the part of me that loves him is still there but I have no desire to see him, help him, etc.  Maybe someday but not anytime soon.

Catching up on blogs.  Everyone who reads here (even those without blogs to catch up on!) is special to me.  I care about all of you.

Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara

14 comments:

LL Cool Joe said...

Your special too. :) I love the way you never fail to see the good bits in Keven, even when it must be very hard.

Thinking of you all.

Mrs F with 4 said...

You sound so .... calm and serene and certain and so jolly determined... I could be utterly wrong, of course (heaven only knows that happens often enough!); but I like the feeling I'm getting from you...a LOT!

Have Myelin? said...

Good for you.

I hope you are taking care of yourself.

Kansas Bob said...

"The weird thing is - this time I don't feel bad about it at all."

I like that! Sounds healthy to me.

Syd said...

You seem so much stronger, Barbara. I'm glad for you. You are doing great.

Lou said...

Maybe Keven could investigate sober houses on the internet while he is home. If he has input, perhaps he will be more accepting of the change. It's also a step to taking responsibility for what happens to him. He must feel like he is just shuffled from place to place.

Annette said...

I agree with Lou...I was just going to post that maybe Keven can do some looking into which sober living house will take him and that he will want to be at. Maybe he can make his own arrangements. When we do it all for them we rob them of their dignity...I am keeping that fresh in my mind right now for my own sake too. You are not alone. Bless your heart Barbara.

Topper said...

Lou is giving some good opinions, in my mind.

I hear what you are saying about Anthony, experienced a similar feeling myself this week.

Sadie said...

You are amazing.

beachteacher said...

I'm very impressed with your calm sureness. Keeping Keven & his choices in my prayers. Keep the faith,...truly,..please do.

Anna said...

You sound good Barbara. Has Kevin looked into Oxford Houses? It is a non profit sober living run by reformed addicts. They will require meetings but they are not all about the money.My Beth never ended up staying in one of these but she did interview and they were very kind yet firm.

Anna said...

You sound good Barbara. Has Kevin looked into Oxford Houses? It is a non profit sober living run by reformed addicts. They will require meetings but they are not all about the money.My Beth never ended up staying in one of these but she did interview and they were very kind yet firm.

Tori said...

You sound like you are at a place of acceptance. Hang in there Barbara, it's going to work out.

Mike aka MonolithTMA said...

Sounds very Zen. Always hoping for the best for you and yours.

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