Spent about five hours with him today. He has such a baby face, its hard to see him lying there like that, he looks like a little kid in a man's body.
The bad news first: his heart is very damaged. I am angry at the nurse for telling his gf that he has "the heart of a 75 year old and will need to be on medication the rest of his life". She did not take that very well, and I don't think he should be telling a 19 year old girl all these details. Aren't there HIPPA laws? My sister works in healthcare and she freaked out when I told her all the info they are giving to the gf and me. I appreciate the info but now on top of everything else I feel like I need to protect the gf because they are treating her more like his wife and she is just a kid herself (and not exactly mature, she's very defensive and angry at all forms of authority...ugh).
When I got there his fever was 102, he's fighting an infection and has pneumonia because of the damage to his lungs. The fever went down to 98, they are still waiting for results of what the infection is but they found some staph infection for sure.
He kept waking up today which is not good, he is suppose to stay still. So they gave him morphine in addition to the Propofol because Propofol is high fat and his triglycerides were way too high and that's bad for the liver.
BUT the good news - he will recover...at least they are giving us that impression today.
His heart has damage from years of drug abuse - a 22 year old heart! His lungs are damaged, his liver is damaged. What are these kids doing to themselves? Do they even understand the damage going on inside of them in addition to the obvious outside damage to their lives?
Today was draining. When I first got there his grandma and girlfriend were both there. So picture three generations of women sitting and watching him sleep. His gf kept touching him and talking to him which caused him to struggle to try to wake up, the nurse asked her to not be so touchy feely. They finally left and I agreed to stay with him till the gf got off work. He got some good rest while she was gone. I know she loves him and is anxious to talk to him, but hope she can let him rest tonight (she's spending the night there).
I feel like the moderator between the grandma and the girlfriend - when one leaves the room they talk about the other and I try to help them each see things from the other perspective. There is no way the gf can relate to what a parent feels, and this grandma has pretty much raised Ant and his brother since his mother chose drugs over her kids.
At least we know his brain is good: When he woke up he responded to everything we said and when his grandpa came in and spoke tho him he had a huge reaction (kind of like a spasm and he tried to talk) and the grandpa had to leave the room cause he started crying. The whole thing is very surreal at times.
I know it sounds like I am taking on everyone else's problems. I am actually not a wreck or anything. I am okay. I am just tired. Above all of this is my concern for my own son and today, he is doing well. Tomorrow is a new day.
I love Anthony very much. Its hard to know that all of his problems are self-inflicted. That he had a choice and he chose to risk his life to get high. Addicts are not rational. But there is hope ... right?
P.S.
I WANT TO END ON A POSITIVE NOTE! One thing I am grateful for is the large chunks of quiet time I have had the last three days sitting at Ant's bedside. It gave me time to think and mostly to pray for all of the people I know that are affected by addiction and prayed especially hard for a few today that stood out in heart and mind.
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
9 comments:
Sounds like good news/bad news - but overall good. Hopefully when this is all over, Ant will see the important incentive to stay clean.
I am glad K is doing well.
Logged on just to see an update before going to bed. (This living on the other coast thing...)
I'll continue praying for all of you.
Oh, I see your point about the HIPPA laws - where as I know you appreciate the information and are grateful for what you're getting, I think it is good you are realizing the protection of Ant's privacy.
I want to write more but have my personal trainer early (yuck!), so I'll email you tomorrow.
Love & hugs. You're doing great being there for Ant! I know it is emotionally and physically tiring... but I'll say it again - he is so fortunate to have you :)
I have been home ill but wanted you to know something. My girlfriend that I work with, her daughter's boyfriend had a similar situation as Ant. He is a herion addict and he OD in a sober living house. He was taken to ICU and was in a drug induced coma for two weeks. He had an infection and his lungs were struggling. His kidneys shut down and he had to stay in the hospital for about two months for dyalisis treatments. He is now a father and has a full time job and it has been about three years. This could be the very thing that will help Ant to get well? I will keep the faith and am praying. Keep taking care of yourself. (HUGS)
I always wish the gf/bf would go away - whoever they are. And and his girlfriend aren't in this together. This is not the girlfriend's drama. The people who have loved Ant from the beginning need time and space. So, I say, make room for grandma. Space from the girl who dropped Ant off moments before he ended up almost killing himself. I thought about your sons yesterday in the middle of a very busy day. God puts your sons on the heart of people who read your post. You're dealing with a nurse gone wild with HIPPA, for sure. God works in strange ways, though. Maybe this will scare Ant. What concerns me is the girlfriend running all over town with the nurse's information - which is why HIPPA should be strongly enforced. Sounds easy, but I know it's difficult. Trust God. If the girlfriend is adding one iota of drama to the situation, send her little butt home. Nicely.
Barbara - You remind me of myself in some ways. You are the strong one through the crisis, and you say you are O.K., but underneath maybe this affects you more than you realize.
I'm glad Anthony is doing better and I'm still praying!
Barbara...I have not been here for a couple of days and when I saw this post I freaked, because I immediately thought it was K from just the title..
I went back to the first post about Ant's OD...
This is so sad. You are an incredibly strong woman (as I have always known) and he and his family are lucky to have you there.
Saying a prayer for this young man
Maybe if addicts had to wear the inside damage on the outside, it would motivate them. They don't "see" it, so they think they are invincible.
God gives addicts a lot of chances, but after awhile they have to help God by doing some work of their own. Anthony will have time to think and heal, I hope it is a new start.
((((Barbara))))
I just read through the series of posts about Ant. I was on the edge of my seat. I cannot believe this has happened. I am so sad for you all.
I am grateful that it looks like he will be okay, frustrated because I want to see someone get to the real truth of what happened and take steps to prevent it from happening again, and just plain sad about how addiction can take a healthy young person and ruin their life.
Praying for you and K, and Ant and his family. I think of them both as your sons.
I will forward a prayer request to Glass House for Ant's total recovery from OD, and for K's pending return home.
Hugs,
Cheri
Barbara, I hope that you will take care of yourself. Such caring and being there is bound to take a toll, even though it may not be immediately obvious to you. Self-care is also important. My best wishes for a recovery of Ant. I hope that he eventually realizes how lucky he is and that God's grace and the love of a few people are carrying him through these times.
The nurse was giving the TRUTH.. about his heart. Why live in denial..?? Everything is not always so nice-nice (hugs).
She is young and if i was her mom i would say RUN. ( a codie in development ). she should know the facts.. what she is dealing with.
It is a disease; but it is a disease to be a CODIE too.. why go down with them. .. not her flesh and blood.. she is young; she should be finding a man that can be a good provider and father to her children and where does this lead???
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