Sitting up and Talking

We both burst into tears when I walked into his room yesterday and saw him SITTING in a chair!

Had a good, emotional visit.  Learned what really happened that night (note:  Coachella "brand" heroin is bad stuff).  It was wild seeing him "back".  Of course he says he's learned his lesson and this is it, etc. etc. etc.  They always say that.  But one of these times he will have to mean it and I am going to do my part in helping him succeed this time.

No one has every really given him an opportunity other than juvenile hall, then jail, then prison - and all the cheapest, least well-run sober livings.  He's never had a true rehab experience.

I called his Parole officer last night.  Yes, I know this is something I should let him do for himself, but he can't right now, and I rather err on the side of being too helpful than letting him get lost in the prison system again and repeat this process over and over till he's dead.  I have a very small window of opportunity and am going to use it to do all I can to get him in a rehab.

Anyhow, long story short he has a new parole officer who has never even met Anthony.  I told him about him.  At the beginning of our conversation he has said he's going straight back to Chino when he's released from the hospital (for parole violation) but I said PLEASE - he needs help, he's weak, he's sick, he needs a rehab.  So the PO agreed with me and said if Ant enrolls himself in a rehab (lock-down facility) he will allow him to do that instead of Chino.

There is only one free "rehab" which is the Salvation Army and I really don't think that's the best route for him.  He needs someplace like PH.  There are no funds left in our county to help him out so I am going to call around and beg and plea.  Something I never did for K.  But there's a drastic difference between someone who's in the "system" for the first time and someone who's been in and out of it since he was a kid and still has never been treated like someone who needs help.  K was so fortunate.

I have to wonder - why did they treat K so differently?  I don't know.  Maybe cause they could see he had a loving family and support from home etc so his chances were better.  They look at Ant and see a kid with  no family, who's dad's rap sheet fills pages, and think "he's just a low-life that is never going to change".

I am reading blogs but not commenting.  I am sorry for the sadness hardships I see some of you going through. 


Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara