Here is what went down:
He went to court yesterday, all was fine and dandy, he was even promoted to the next level of the program, Phase Three. After court his PO had all her people take a drug test since they had missed Monday due to the holiday (wise move on her part).
He tested dirty after standing up in front of the judge saying he was clean.
His punishment was two nights in jail and being sent all the way back to the beginning of Phase Two (this means he will be in the program for another 6 months, which I think is wonderful).
Last night he spent the night in jail but they allowed him out today because one of his college classes starts today and they didn't want him to miss it. Tomorrow I take him back up there and he spends another night and then I pick him up again on Friday morning.
He didn't even blink an eye when I took away his car keys, he usually puts up a fight.
The first words when he got in the car were (and I know - these are only words) "I am done with drugs I am never doing them again. I met so many old men in their that were gross and worn out that all said the same thing to me "I was JUST LIKE YOU when I started out". He's heard that before, but I feel a little hopeful.
We need to get him a new doctor and a therapist.
UPDATE: Just talked to his PO she asked me if he was keeping his curfew, I said "no" and so she's making him stay in jail all weekend. She told him if he misses curfew one more time she will make him stay in jail all summer.
I'm tired. So tired. Need to go to work now....
Thanks for caring about us.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
6 comments:
OK, Barbara, I don't know what you think of me telling you this, but I feel I need to. If he goes to jail and is released, I would not go get him. If he misses his first day of class, too bad. It's a consequence of his behavior. If he has to go back to jail, let him figure out how he gets there. He learns that no matter what he does, he will be taken care of. He has rides, a place to live, after he does "well" for a few day, weeks, whatever, he will have a car again, etc., just to repeat the cycle. He tells you what you want to hear (he knows exactly what it is) and you can be had. I have been through this cycle one too many times, and I am cycled out.
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Helga
Barbara, I felt really bad for saying what I did. Just felt I had to from what you had written. I totally understand, you are doing the best you can and the best you know how under the circumstances, because you are a mom and you love him. Been there and done all the same things.
hang in there. I have to agree with the above poster. But....I am not in your shoes.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Oh Barbara, I hope the weekend in jail reinforces the conclusions he is reaching, but you are wise to recognise this as "jail talk" (the "I'm done" part). As our Lou used to say "don't TELL me, SHOW me."
I'll email you later - I'm hoping you have a stellar day! You have a wonderful job that hopefully today is a nice oasis for your mind and heart!
Consequences for what we do. No one stepping in to help. Making choices whether right or wrong. These are hard things to accept and hard to put into action. But they are the necessary things that may save a life. I wish there weren't so much pain involved for you.
wow,...I can't believe the court there would let him leave to go to his first class,...we'd never get anything close to that here in V.Beach.. Oh Barbara,...you are in all of our hearts. Hope his words (I'm done) do turn into actions....I say the same as what was stated above,..SHOW me, don't tell me ! Keeping you & Kev in my prayers.
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