If not, it should be required reading for all parents of heroin addicts. But be warned, she may piss you off, or, (if you are sensitive like me) hurt your feelings. I laugh as I type that because I am not the same person I was early on when my feelings got hurt by her honest comments.
Now I look at her with admiration and respect. She has earned the title of "expert" on this topic, although I am sure she wishes she weren't.
Her daughter has been using for 11 years and Dawn was just like most of us in the beginning. Her attitude is not out of harshness or lack of love, its based in reality.
When I find myself arguing (in my mind) against something she says its because I just do NOT want to accept that my son may never stop using.
I remember when he got home from jail and Phoenix House. Six months clean. I was full of hope, but fearful because I knew it would be so much easier for him to get away with it.
Then it he had 7, 8, NINE months! I was bordering on being confident, almost proud, that he had gotten this far and thought surely he would not use again after NINE WHOLE MONTHS. (I will pause here to allow for snickering from wise parents that see the naivety).
Anyhow, he used again. And again, and again. He got caught went to jail a few nights, got pushed back in his court program. Whatever. Will he use again? I am certain he will. I don't kid myself anymore. I hear the words but I don't believe them.
Same with Anthony. God I love them both so much! But Anthony has been using for four years and has been to jail too many times to count, been in the hospital for an OD, and been in the hospital ON LIFE SUPPORT after an OD. He lost his mother to drugs. He shot up his best friend with bad stuff and watched him fucking DIE. Yet, he continues to use - even from prison. He says he's done. Sigh. Words mean nothing but I want desperately to see it happen this time.
So...yes, I hope they both stop. But do I expect them to? No. Not at all. Its sad but true.
Thank you, Dawn.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
Anyhow, he used again. And again, and again. He got caught went to jail a few nights, got pushed back in his court program. Whatever. Will he use again? I am certain he will. I don't kid myself anymore. I hear the words but I don't believe them.
Same with Anthony. God I love them both so much! But Anthony has been using for four years and has been to jail too many times to count, been in the hospital for an OD, and been in the hospital ON LIFE SUPPORT after an OD. He lost his mother to drugs. He shot up his best friend with bad stuff and watched him fucking DIE. Yet, he continues to use - even from prison. He says he's done. Sigh. Words mean nothing but I want desperately to see it happen this time.
So...yes, I hope they both stop. But do I expect them to? No. Not at all. Its sad but true.
Thank you, Dawn.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
7 comments:
I much prefer the truth to all the lies. I think that the lies are the hard thing because they foster false hope.
Never say never. Where there is hope, there is love. When an addict who lacks self confidence, they look for someone to believe in them. Never give up.
I tried to read it but I have to be invited to read! Truth is better than the lie- even if it is not what we want to hear! Stevie may always be a user, but he does not always have to be a liar. He does not always HAVE to use. He does not ALWAYS have to manipulate. I refuse to believe they are powerless over the drug. They are powerless over their need but not over their use!
More true words were never spoken than Dawn's latest post. Do we want to believe it? Of course not. But if we kid ourselves as parents, we will always end up on the shorter end of the stick of the truth. We can no more make our kids quit drugs than we could prevent them from using them in the first place.
Michael. I'm sure you feel you have good and compelling reasons for believing what you posted. That being said however, it really doesn't help the addict one dang bit to believe in him/her if they don't believe in themselves.
All of us parents believe that our addict can get/stay clean. And everyone of our addicts have been told that, KNOW that.
Yet, they continue to use. Go figure.
Empirical evidence sadly proves you wrong.
all you can do is pray Barbara, you are all in my prayers.
I too am grateful for Dawn.
And, like Em, I too keep you all in my prayers.
love & hugs!
Post a Comment