Its hard to write here these days. Kev is going through a very difficult time. He's been off drugs for 8 months. He's on medication for bi-polar, but his symptoms are getting worse. He's intelligent and articulate enough to describe to me in full detail exactly what's going on and we both know what it means. We finally said the word out loud tonight. He has an apt. to see his dr. on Tuesday. He hasn't told his dr. about the symptoms because he doesn't want the diagnosis of what he thinks it is (denial) but he said he's ready to tell him because he can't live like this anymore. Yes, there are meds for it, with really negative side effects. Its like a no win in his mind. I just got my son back, I don't want to lose him again.
I'm thinking of making this blog private (invite only) so if you are a regular reader I will be sending you an invite. If you are not sure if I have your email please leave me a comment or email me.
19 comments:
Barbara, you have been one of my closest blogging friends since day one. I am here for suppot and love and I am praying for you and Keven every night. My email is reneetips@sbcglobal.net. (((HUGE HUGS)))
The truth will set you free, i'm not sure who coined that expression but i think that in many ways it can be like that, begin the healing. I remember when my cousin got diagnosed with schizophrenia, no one in the family wanted to talk about it. My auntie still says things like 'before when he was sick' like it was a cold or something. Really weird i think. My cousin and i talk about it, he wants to. But anyway, it's not like it used to be, society understands people are different. I'm sure it's for the best, and my cousin, he's awesome, living like you and me. Wishing you both all the best.
I am so sad to hear this. I know Keven has had such a struggle. There will always be good days and bad with the medications and mental illness and hopefully there will be more of the good than the bad. I think accepting the diagnosis will be the hardest for both of you. It is hard for me and I am here in blog land. I wish that there was some magic to make it all go away. I know it will be hard.
Its normal to be scared of the unknown...like Spindrift said...once he's on the right medication, he may be totally "normal"! I'll be praying for you both!
I hope that Keven does talk to his therapist and tells about what his problems are. One can't be helped until there is complete understanding of what is wrong. I would like to continue following you Barbara so add my name to the private blog readers if you would like. Best to you and Keven.
I will keep you both in my prayers. With your permission, I would like to continue reading your blog. I have a lot to learn from you.
Barb, please do include me in your list. lv4gves@comcast.net
Sorry things are rough right now for Kevin. But a med change can make a world of difference. I hope it all gets figured out soon.
karenmarrs@gmail.com
I really want to continue reading.
Hello barb, I'm a longtime lurker I followed you from your past blog, always wishing and waiting for kevs recovery.
May I keep reading your daily journey?
xfebruary.blossomx@gmail.com
Hope and hugs!
Barbara,...Please know that I'm praying,...as are many others who care so much about you and Keven. I do agree w/ Annette though...the right medication(s) can make a world of difference in a positive way ! I'd also even get a 2nd opinion, if that's possible. My understanding is also that this began when he was suddenly taken off his prior medication,which I think is a very hopeful factor. Medication can do very powerful things...including auditory and visual hallucinations,....both happened to my elderly mom when she was put on some powerful painkillers (not sure what, I wasn't with her) for some dental issues. It all went away once the meds. were changed. I realize it's not the same thing,but if a sudden withdrawal off his other meds. was when this began, then there's something to that which can be very hopeful. In the meantime, we're all sending you our prayers and love. You know I would like to be included in those who can follow your blog.
Sending you love and peace.
Lori
Barbara: You KNOW I want to stay connected to your blog...please include me (lisac@enxco.com).
My first HR job was with a company that ran locked and unlocked psychiatric facilities and the primary diagnosis was schizophrenia and the average patient age was 28. The truth is that although it takes time to get the meds right, the patients that took their meds and stayed on their meds were intelligent, sometimes brilliant, witty, caring people. This is/could be Kevin.
I know he is in pain,but 8 months clean is amazing and it is proof that he has a lot of control over his mind. I will be keeping you, Keven, and Ant in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there.
I'm usually pretty good at this, but I'm taking extra care to make sure the two of you are in my thoughts.
Barbara,
you know I want to be included in your blog list. You have my email. I am praying for you and your son. Stay positive if you can, it will also give Keven hope. Love and hugs.
Barbara, extra prayers for you and Keven... please let me know how things are going, and if you go private, you know I want to continue reading! Love, big hugs and extra prayers!
I would like to continue to read your blog
evi_vde@yahoo.com
Barbara...I have been lurking without commenting since last July. I have meant to for so long. I would love to continue reading here. You and so many of the others have helped me so much. You have no idea!
Thank you for each and every comment. I have made a list and am ready if i need to go private. I can't decide.
I feel like I am living in a daze right now and if I think too hard I will break....
Hi,would love to carry on reading your posts,I have'nt commented before but sort of in same situation as you.Take care.jane.ejones@hotmail.co.uk
As a parent of an addict I have found your blog to be very helpful in my trudging through this nightmare. I would like to be added to your e mail list should you go private. Thank you
sval36@yahoo.com
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