May 19, 2010

Thank you very much

Thanks for all the comments I appreciate each and every word.  I feel like we are all in such a similar "boat" and luckily when someone's boat starts to feel like its sinking, there are others around to keep it afloat.  I have no clue it that analogy makes sense (Syd - is it possible to save a sinking boat?), but I know you get what I mean.

Keven went to visit "L" and said to me before he left (in these exact words) "I am not going to enable her or help her, I am just going to be there for her".  I think he's better at this than I am :)

Then he called lost after driving around for over an hour and I could hear the panic in his voice.  I had given him the wrong directions because I trusted Google Maps.  I will NEVER trust them again, this is not the first time this has happened.

He finally found the hospital.  He said he was felt that ominous feeling that something bad was going to happen soon.  Shit.  That's all I can say.  I said "no, it won't" but how do I know.

I am sooooooooooooooooo tired tonight.  I need to rest but first, I'm going to catch up with some of you!

P.S.  He's home and struggling really bad and just told me he can't eat anymore...he's only had a few bites here and there in the last few days.
I keep waiting, waiting...for something to make him feel BETTER.

Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara


Syd said...

Barbara, you are so good. I hope that you get some rest. You certainly deserve that and much more. Yes, it is possible to save the sinking boat by using something to plug up the holes (isn't that what we do?) and by bailing as hard as we can to enable the boat to get to shore (I've done my share of bailing too). Great analogy. I don't have to go down with the ship though!

Heather's Mom said...

Oh, poor K :( I get lost even with GOOD directions, that is miserable driving around lost... so glad he finally made it there safely! (And for the tip on Google maps, my friend told me the same thing - just yesterday!).
So proud of you and K - you're both doing so much!
I hope you get some good rest tonight!
God bless.

~ Tabitha ~ said...

Maybe try keeping some ice cream on hand or other common comfort foods?
I hear your exhaustion.It happens to the best of us when we try to breathe for the ones we love,Barbara.

I hope tomorrow will bring some fresh air for you and your family.

Sometimes waiting for us can make us emotionally faint.We need to find a window - and open it.

Much support to you as always,
Thank you for sharing.

~ Tabitha ~ said...

By opening the window,I mean letting in some fresh air ;)

Barbara said...

Syd, you are so faithful to always comment...thank you. I've been reading your blog but not commenting. Its nice to have our very own marine biologist boat expert around here !!

H's Mom, I get lost at night even in my own backyard!

Tabitha, great idea about the comfort food. I have noticed him asking for his childhood favorites lately.

And thanks for the clarification on the window...I was thinking you meant to jump and that was tempting! :)

Erin said...

I just love you. That's all I have to offer. You are doing your best to support these people...because you love them...but I can tell it's draining. Wish I could be there to help you cope, but I just wanted to say I'm thinking about you.

Addiction--Mom trying to Detach with Love said...

I know you are worried about Keven and are afraid. Please know that I am in the boat with you and getting my oar out to help you row. Please rest and make some time for yourself, pamper yourself a little. On a side note, I think it is about time we hit a concert, we could use some fun!!!!

justLacey said...

Keven is struggling now, but he is stronger than you think. Anxiety is sometimes disabling and that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach makes it hard to eat. I pray for him every day and hope that he will find a way to cope soon. Life at that age is hard enough without all the struggles he has endured lately. Stay strong. I believe he will be ok.

Annette said...

I am praying my friend. I hope that you and Keven can find some peace and security in the knowledge that you both are in God's hands.

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