Anyone who knows me can tell you I am very open minded about most things. I decided years ago that I would choose my battles with my son and that I would not interfere with his need for self expression. I was the same way in my youth, I had to be different, unique, push the limit with my "style". BUT - I was more of a surfer chick with a rock and roll edge, nothing I did was permanent, it was all about the hair and clothes.
Keven, on the other hand, loves piercings and tattoos. I have accepted all his tattoos, I actually like them.
I tolerate his piercings in silence. I don't say much but the one he just came home with makes my stomach turn. Its a "conch piercing" in the INSIDE of his ear. It was dripping blood...my stomach is turning.
So far he's had a tongue piercing, dermal implants in his arm (two done professionally and a whole row of them he pierced himself) two lip piercings, a labret and currently has HUGE plugs and a small black bar under his eye. Ugh.
It makes me wonder - is this a statement of style and personality or is it self-mutilation? My mom and sister are going to freak when they see it. I literally feel sick. I feel like crying but at least he's sticking needles in his ears not his arm right?
Thanks for letting me share...
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
8 comments:
I'm sorry, Barbara. Heck, I don't even know what some of these things are. Dermal implants? A labret? Gosh. Does this mean I'm officially old? And I was going to be the hip mom! So much for that.
I'll keep you both in my prayers. Hugs to you.
Yikes! I can imagine as a mother how that would upset your stomach.
That being said, I wouldn't worry about what your Mom & sister are going to think. That will just add to your anxiety over what K is or isn't doing (self-expression vs self-mutilation which I don't know).
Congrats on the 11 pounds - that's really impressive to have accomplished while all these emotional things have been happening.
Mentioning your Mom, I've been praying for her too. I hope she is doing well. She is very attractive! (You recently posted a photo, can't remember if I commented there or not.)
Love & hugs to you.
God bless.
Kathy, I doesn't mean you are old, it means you are lucky! I don't want to know what those things are! Dermal implants are like the equivalent of having a piece of metal embedded in your skin and a labret piercing is that area right under your lower lip on the chin.
Heather's Mom, thanks for thinking of my mom, she's doing great! As for Keven, I don't know what to think.
Keven can take out all the piercing and have his earlobes reconstructed. All surface stuff. Don't let it get under YOUR skin. Keep taking care of yourself and focus on the fact that Keven is home and safe.
I have said this before but I will mention it again. He might be doing this to feel something. The pain might break through all the meds he is on and it gets him in touch with his core. He is not cutting into his flesh; he has chosen to go a somewhat socially acceptable route. He can still get a job - even with HUGE plugs.
Breathe, Barbara.
this too will pass
xx kris
I just caught up with your posts. They weren't showing up in my google reader for some reason.
Good for you for taking care of yourself! You said you did some socializing. I am realizing how I have allowed socializing to be just about nil. I'm going to follow your cue here!
My daughter is wanting gauges. With my son, piercings and freaky hair colors had to be earned (he had to shave his head a time or two times after report cards came in!). She wasn't able to get her grades where they needed to be so I am off the hook with this for a few months at least, thank goodness.
Have a good week!
I agree with Kris. He wants to feel something. I would freak out too. Never been fond of piercings, other than just for ear rings. I wonder how he pays for this stuff. Is he working? How can he afford to do this?
Love and hugs,
Helga
I watched a couple with multiple piercings kissing not long ago. There was so much hardware on their lips that I wondered how much they actually felt.
I personally do not like gauges or piercings other than those on the outer ear or the little ones on the side of the nostril. But that's me now. I'm also sure that had piercings and tats been cool when I was a teenager, I would have done that.
There's a cost to wearing a lot of hardware and serious tats. Those things can close the doors to a lot of job opportunities.
Take a look at the study which equates public response to white males with visible tattoos to black males from high-crime districts. The researchers sold iPhones on Craig's List and used pictures where the seller's hand was shown. http://www.aolnews.com/nation/article/craigslist-study-race-gives-some-sellers-an-upper-hand/19499464 There are certain assumptions that the public makes based on appearance. I'm not endorsing this behavior, but it is a reality in our world. Of course, it's worse in certain parts of our country. From the article: "buyers are using race as a proxy for negative things in those markets -- living in a bad/unfamiliar neighborhood, perhaps, or criminal tendencies. . . . In general, the [white] sellers with visible tattoos fared about as poorly as the black ones."
G
I don't mind the piercings as much as the permanent ink. The piercings can come out. The ink can't. Just my humble opinion.
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