He did not come home last night.
I am not sure if he used or not, but am assuming he did.
I will drive his car to work and try to put this out of my mind for the day.
Questions on my mind:
Should I call his PO and tell her he's been using?
If he's using, then how are his meds suppose to help? But if his meds were helping, would he be using?
He didn't use for 9 months...why now?
Does his gf know? Has she started using it too?
Should I inform her parents that Kev is using or stay out of it?
Maybe he's not using.
I get paid today, top of my shopping list: drug tests
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
7 comments:
Does his probation include a curfew? Did you tell the PO you would report a breach of curfew? If so, maybe it's time to let the PO know that he did not come home. That is the only fact you know. Let the PO handle it from there.
Kevin used after 9 months because he has untreated addiction. Recovery takes abstinence, some sort of daily program and changing compulsive behaviors. The mental health piece is part of this, but until Kevin treats his addiction daily and changes behaviors - he is just an addict with untreated addiction and he will continue to use.
I'm sorry you are going through this. What can you do for your recovery today?
I agree with BRB queen. It might be time to report him, he is on probation for a reason.
Agree with the above. Things are not improving in the long run. You are suffering and he is not being helped. It's time to do something. I know it is hard, but you must do it for yourself. Be strong. Love and hugs to you, dear friend.
tough love is the only way to go in your situation. tell his PO your suspicions. It'll almost surely piss keven off in the short term but you need to look at the long term.
I think that the suggestions given are good. Nothing is working that you are doing. I think it's time for consequences for Keven. Report him. Get your car back. Take care of yourself. Don't police him because that isn't going to work.
I second Annette and Syd on this. Please take care of yourself, I know that can be hard for us sometimes, but so important. I continue to pray.
Unfortunately (because I know it sucks and it's hard to do) I'm with Annette and Syd. Policing him is not going to work (YOUR policing him!). It's not your job, love.
I think, from what you're saying, it's time for the professionals to do their thing. He is violating his conditions of probation and for that there are consequences. Period.
And I wish I was there to hug you, because I frigging know how hard that call is to make.
Perhaps you can ask his officer if you might give her information that she will NOT tell Keven came from you. My daughter's officer(s) have always been happy to take down information from me, even if they had not been given permission by the my daughter to give info to US - heck, it's making their job easier. (And also, we made it a condition that we would never be involved in enabling recovery (i.e., paying that first two weeks' rent for sober home when she first got out of jail) unless we had a phone call from her officer saying she had signed on the dotted line that we could talk to probation and probation could talk to us. She KNEW the ONLY time I ever would call her officer, was if I felt the need to let them know she was endangering herself. They're busy people, I don't just call to chat! When her mania/addiction is at its worst, she is just not capable of making good decisions. Getting arrested afforded her yet another opportunity to ponder the wisdom (or lack of) of her current path.
Bless you Barbara! I will be praying for you and Keven.
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