It was about the difference between attending Al-Anon and NAMI and how they each pulled you in a different direction when your addict was dually diagnosed with both addiction (Al-Anon) and mental illness (NAMI). They have almost opposite methods. Tough love and no enabling or supporting with compassion and trying to help.
Since he seemed to be staying away from drugs, I decided that Keven's mental illness was the big issue. I poured myself into learning all about it. I went to the Family to Family classes (which I don't regret at all) and I feel qualified to diagnose mental illness and prescribe meds (not really, but seriously, the info they give you is very in depth).
Its much more difficult to navigate mental illness because its so nebulous, and there are no simple, straight answers. With addiction its very clear: stop using drugs and life gets better!
I've been treating my son as a Bipolar 1 with panic disorder, general anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder and possibly OCD. THINKING HE IS REALLY SICK AND NEEDS HELP.
THEN the addiction rears its ugly head and he uses heroin again at the very first chance he gets to do it without any legal consequences!!!
So now I am back in the "mother of an addict" mode and am ready, willing and able to kick him out if needed (I actually fantasize about how nice it would be for him to be gone for awhile).
Is he ill?
Is he ill and an addict?
Is he only an addict?
How do I treat him if he's both?
How do I find the truth of which he is?
Is he faking the illness?
Is he manipulating us?
Is it all a big game to him?
What if its not?
What if it is?
I wish he would never have been diagnosed. I would feel a lot better dealing with just a drug addiction. This is like a double edged sword - pointed at me.
P.S. All the comments left on the last post were awesome...thank you. Wish I had the energy to answer each one individually. I am trying to learn I can't always do that even when I want to. Need to preserve energy for the next few days of "battle".
P.S.S. You won't even believe what happened with his girlfriend today. Short story - she got busted for shoplifting. Luckily he was not involved and was not with her when it happened or he'd be in a lovely orange jumpsuit right now. Hey, that would solve a lot of my problems :)
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
