I never in a million years would have believed I'd be the type of person to dress up a dog - or even own a small dog! But I am :)
Saw Keven again last night. I can see in his eyes that he's scared, plus he told me he was. He said he never wants to go through this again. His foray into Bath Salts really did a number on him. He told me that he'd hallucinated on drugs before but he was always aware that he was high and that it would wear off. But with Bath Salts he was convinced everything around him was really happening and he didn't know how to escape, other than calling 911 on himself.
Today is the first day since Monday that he's felt "normal" (i.e. he's not sleeping all day, he can think clearly). He wants help. He wants to make it.
Now of course I've heard this all before and believed it a few times...but I seriously think that this experience shook him up bad enough to POSSIBLY cause him to take recovery seriously. My mom, sis and I have decided that we will pay for another residential treatment (out of the four he's been in we've only paid for one, 2 were county beds and 1 was a scholarship). Luckily we found one that his insurance covers at 80% so our amount will be $1000 each. I don't have $1000 but am working on selling a few gold $20 coins that are worth about 1,500 each. Its worth it to me. Gold coins are nothing, my son is everything.
He told me where he had some drugs hidden in his room from his last visit here so I flushed it last night. He said there is nothing else in the house. (side note - the other day Anthony told me that he had gear stashed all over the county in different places so that if he scored some dope he'd be prepared. Is that common?)
I searched my soul about this and think its the right thing to do for Keven. One last chance for him to make it happen for himself. Please don't tell me its the wrong thing to do, I don't want to throw him in the streets right now.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
