I Need Input

K's ex girlfriend just texted me to say she missed him, is thinking about him a lot lately and wants to talk to him.

Do I tell him this or not?

I hate to keep things from him but in his current state of mind, would it be wise?  She has a boyfriend.  Not sure why she suddenly wants to talk to him.  Part of me is suspicious...why now after all these months?

They dated for a year.  She stood by him for the first few months of his drug use but when he got really bad, she left him.  I was proud of her but sad to see her go, she was a nice girl.

I know I can't protect him forever.  He has to learn to face the realities of life.  I just know he still has feelings for this girl and am not sure if it would be good for him to have one more thing to deal with right now.

I'd just like to hear some of your thoughts to give me perspective.  This doesn't seem black and white like most issues....or maybe I am just making too much of it.  I know when her name is mentioned he gets kind of uptight...like he misses her and regrets what he put her through.  

Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara

Cigarettes?

Here is a question:

Do you smoke?
Have you ever?
If so, how long ago?
If you are the parent of an addict - does your child smoke?

I have lots of stuff to share but it will have to wait till later.

Today was pretty dang amazing.  I got to kiss and hug my boy and see his SMILE.

UPDATE:  Thanks for answering my smoking questions and sorry if it caused anyone to want to light up (I hope not).

My answers are:  Yes, I smoked for 15 years (age 15 - 30).  I started smoking when my dad died of lung cancer from being a SMOKER.  I know...there are some real obvious psychological things to be said about that!  I quit the day I found out I was pregnant.  I didtn't touch a cigarette for 12 years then for some reason had a craving and now am in the habit of smoking one Nat Sherman (a weird brand of cig that is kind of like a cigar) per day in the evening out on my balcony.  I have very weird smoking habits.

I asked the question because its so common for addicts to smoke.  Its one of the only drugs my son doesn't like and I am grateful for that, but if he did I would see it as a "minor issue" in light of everything else.

I remember when my young friend (former meth addict) had been clean for about a year or so and her mom kept complaining about her smoking.  This was long before K had started drugs.  I tried to get the mom to be ecstatic that she had her daughter back - so what if she smokes!!!   Eventually this young lady chose to quit smoking too - when she was ready.  

I guess seeing 90% of the people smoking last night made me ask this question.   

OH - and one other thought, its SO HARD TO QUIT.  I was a very light smoker and it was still hard for me to quit, I tried so many times and never could until the shock of hearing "you're pregnant".  I had one more cig as I sat and cried at the horrible news (it was a shock and I admit I was NOT happy at first).  
 

Smokin' In The Boys Room - Möt...