K just informed me that he does not need a ride tomorrow because rather than taking a day pass he is staying in PH and helping on a project.
My first thought: He's lying. He is up to no good.
My mind goes a million different directions, I am filled with fear and worry.
Then I had to calm down and tell myself two things:
1. He may be telling the truth, he really likes PH and I can tell he feels good being part of the community, perhaps he really is going to help out on a project.
2. Even if he is up to something, there is nothing I can do about it. Its his choice, his life.
This is a taste of what it will be like when he comes home. Constantly wondering if he's lying or not. I hate that it has to be this way, but it is. When do you regain trust in an addict? Do you ever?
Song of the day:
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara