Talking to Kids About Drugs

If you haven't read Ron's blog today, stop on over to "An Addict in Our Son's Bedroom" and add  your comment.  He asks two important questions and asks for other parents to share.

Unfortunately, my experience with this topic (see comment to Ron below) has not been good.  I appreciate organizations that work on ways to prevent kids/teens from trying drugs.  I believe they are sincere and are doing the best they know how, but a lot of what I've seen (see this post for what I mean) is just not cutting it for the reality of today's youth.

What is the answer?  I think they need to ask some real parents (like Ron, like us) who have been in the trenches and understand this issue from the inside out for our opinions.  I think they should also ABSOLUTELY use recovered addicts of the current generation (most of our kids ages) to share what, if anything would have stopped them.

In Keven's case his answer was "Nothing.  Nothing anyone said or did would have stopped me from trying".

There is one thing that I'd like to see addressed and used in a positive way.  TEACH KIDS THAT THEY MAY HAVE A DISEASE.  Would Keven had tried if he knew he'd become addicted so easily?  No one explained to him that addiction chooses you, you don't choose it, and that SOME PEOPLE ARE PRE-DISPOSED TO THIS DISEASE.  It took me forever to accept addiction was a disease.  I thought that was a cop out, BS excuse used to justify it.  But after a few years, lots of lectures and one very awesome video presentation, I was a believer.

Here's my comment:

Ron, great questions.  It would be wonderful if talking to kids made a difference, and for some I'm sure it does.  For mine, it didn't.
 Here are my thoughts based on what I did with Kev:
 When he was in 4th grade (age 9/10) they had a drug awareness program.  Up to that point he had never mentioned drugs so I had not brought it up, knowing that all the kids learned about them in 4th.  The police came in with display cases of what all the drugs, etc. looked like and gave them all a talk about the dangerous of using and how to say no.
 Keven came home from the demonstration at school fascinated with all the drugs and paraphernalia he got to see and learn about.  He had every drug name memorized and proceeded to tell me how to use each one.  I was SHOCKED, it was my first indication that he saw drugs as something "cool", so I began at that time to have very frank discussions with him about my past experience of what drugs do to ruin, or end, a life.  I told him of friends I'd had in high school, I told him of statistics, I tried to relate it to him personally saying that he would not be able to pursue his sport if he used drugs, how it would affect his life, etc. etc.
 That was my strategy and it failed miserably.  He tried weed and alcohol at 15 and by the time he was 17 he had tried every illicit drug known to mankind and was addicted to heroin.  I don't know what I could have done differently.
 I'm looking forward to reading what others have to say.

Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara

If Talking Made a Difference, Would Your Kid Be Drug Free?

I am all for educating parents as much as possible and think that "The Partnership for a Drug Free America" does a good job of that.  BUT what irritates me is that they insinuate on their TV ads and on-line that talking to your kids makes a difference.

I talked to K about drugs for years before he actually tried them.  We discussed everything from drugs to sex to ______  stuff I can't even say here cause its personal between him and me.  My point is, we have always had open communication, a close relationship and he loves and respects me.

TALKING ABOUT IT DIDN'T CHANGE A DAMN THING!

So to me, this sort of campaign gives false hope to parents who think their kids are going to be safeguarded against drug use if they talk openly about it.

Kids are taught that drugs are  "bad" as early as the fourth grade in our school district.  In fact all the grades are involved in "Drug Use is Life Abuse" week every year.

I don't think knowledge is the answer, and I know that open communication and a good parent/child relationship is not the answer.


Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara

p.s.  I have to wonder if we over-educate our kids about drugs, I swear K sounds like a pharmacist when he talks about drugs and he learned it all either in school or on the streets and by using.