"Angel"

Years ago on a blog that is long gone, I wrote a lot about a young friend of mine who was in the depths of drug addiction.  I called her "Angel" to keep her anonymity.  At the time I had no idea that is was the beginning of my "training" in addiction; Keven was just a kid 12 or 13 when Angel started using.

Angel was like a daughter to me in some ways, but also a friend.  I loved her intensely.  I did all I could do for her.  I made mistakes that I thought were helping.  I learned so much about what an addict went through, etc.  I also know her family so got my first glimpse of what a parent goes through.

Eventually Angel got clean and I rejoiced, celebrated and ENJOYED her for three years.  Then last year the old Angel started to show up.  I honestly didn't think it was drugs at first - I thought her behavior was a direct result of getting involved with the scumbag that fed her addiction for years.  But then it became to obvious to ignore.  For the last year I have watched my Angel sink lower and lower into that ugly, dark place.

I was with her yesterday and she was on Meth.  I never brought it up - it was too obvious, why bother.  She was so out there I don't think she knew or cared if I knew.  Its heartbreaking.  She's suppose to be moving out of state today for a job promotion.  Her dad is driving 16 hours with her to her new home.  I'm sure she'll find a new supplier of drugs soon after she settles in.

I still love this young lady very much, but have let go of her - if you know what I mean.  She will be 26 this month.  I hope its not her last birthday.


Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara

P.S.  Today is a big day for me for two reasons, will write more later have to get going!