Court Ordered Bowling

Keven will be bowling tomorrow between 10am - 12 pm at the lanes near our house.  His Probation Officer is the one who put it together for all her "people" to bowl with her.  Keven hasn't reached his 60 days at "United" yet so she called and told them it was court ordered.  I think that's funny and very cool.

He seems to continue to do really well there.  Next step (in August) is a Sober Living house.

As for me....I've had a mixed week.  Some highs (meeting my friend Erin in person) and lows (extra pain).

Trying to keep things in perspective.  Hope each of you have a great weekend!!!


Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara

Suprise Visit from PO

I am not used to the doorbell ringing at 11:20 pm and I should have thought twice before answering it in my pajamas!  It was Kev's PO and her partner (male).  What was I thinking?  I am embarrassed to be seen in so little clothes in front of them!  I held my dog in my arms to try and cover my self.  I wanted to leave them alone with him but walking upstairs in front of them was not an option while wearing PJ's.  UGH.

Also, my tats were showing so I guess now they know who Keven inherited his love of body art from.

But, the good news, he was here, he passed the breathalizer test.  They gave him permission to be out late Friday night.

She's not happy that he is still not stabilized on his meds after all this time.  I need to write his new doctor tomorrow and fill him in on some stuff.  HIPPA prevents the doctor from talking to me, but it can't prevent me from talking to the doctor.

She's putting a patch on him for the weekend.  I like that idea.

Next time they come over I need to remember to grab my robe.  What was I thinking?  UGH!

Interesting Development....

In my last post I wasn't sure what to do about my concern that Keven was out using last night and did not come home or call.  I decided not to do anything and as it turns out - the incident took care of itself.

His PO showed up here this morning because she got a call from the Sheriff's Dept. saying Keven was not home last night.  How the heck they know that - I have no idea - but they knew.  His car was out front and he was in my car, but maybe they think my car belongs to him and alerted her that the car was not home.  But that doesn't make sense...you can't assume the person is not home just because the car is not in front of the house.

Anyhow, he admitted to her that he was not home, he was at his girlfriend's two streets away.  She said he might have to spend the night in jail for violating a term of his probation.  We'll see what happens.

The good news is, he did not use.  At least I assume he didn't because she probably would have noticed by looking at him.

So that's the latest.

I want to be done with all this and have a simple life again!


Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara

Sleepless Night

I have always struggled with insomnia, but I have not lost sleep over Keven since August 19, 2009 because I've known where he was and what he was doing every day since that date.

Well, last night he chose to stay at his girlfriend's house all night.  This is a direct violation of probation (Hey, Officer GW are you reading my blog?  If so Keven is busted!  Come and get him!).

Apparently he told me at 11:30 pm (I was in bed half asleep at the time) that he was going over there and that it would be cool since it was only 1 minutes from our house so if Officer GW (his PO) showed up, he could come right home.  Um, I don't think it works that way.

I dozed in and out of sleep and my sister came in and woke me at 1 to tell me he was not home.  I said I knew and didn't care, it was his problem.  I also was pretty sure that no one would show up looking for him since they'd done a curfew check the night before.

So I tossed and turned until 3 am thinking "he's in Santa Ana, he's doing drugs, he OD'd, he's dead".  I got in my car (in my jammies) and drove the one minute to his gf's house and sure enough his car was there.  So I went home and tossed and turned till he came home at 8 am.  He didn't look like he'd been doing any drugs, I sure hope not.

He is dating a girl that he's known for years (since Jr. High) and up until a month ago they were just friends.  I like this girl, she's very friendly and polite and sweet (in front of me).  Its much better than when he was involved with the 27 y.o. with three kids that he met at PH.  The other day he mentioned that this is the first time he's had a relationship sober and so he's enjoying all aspects of it.  I didn't respond.  He's had all the lectures on that topic.

Ugh.  I am not going to live like this so he better not do it again.  I have GW on speed dial and am not afraid to hit that button if I need to.

Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara

Profiled by the Police?

This is odd to me, maybe one of you knows something about this cause I don't know what to make of it.


Keven was up in Newport Beach today (affluent area) parked in front of a friend's house waiting for her to come out.  He was drinking a Rockstar and texting.  A cop drove by.  A few minute later three cop cars surrounded him. 


He rolled down the window and politely asked what the problem was and the cop said "You look cracked out.  Are you on probation?"  

Keven said "yes, and I'm a registered narcotics offender".  So they searched him and the car, found nothing.  The cop wrote a note on the back of his business card stating that Keven was cooperative, polite, etc. and that his PO could call if she had any questions about the incident.


Kev says he's always profiled as a drug user.  BUT WHY?  HOW?  I ask this more out of curiosity than anything else, I don't get it.  I'm not upset that they questioned him, and he obviously handled it well, but it bothers me that he's got "that look".  He looks SO MUCH better now that he's not using, he doesn't even wear those stupid earrings anymore.  He wears nice clothes and has nice hair and a nice face and was driving a nice car.  What's the deal?


I mean basically they were right - he's a former user and they had every right in the world to search him because he's on probation, I just don't understand what they see when they look at him that lets them know?  Its weird.


Again, I am not trying to say this should not have happened, but it does bother me a bit.

Oh, and it was not the car, the car is one he has never been pulled over in and has no "record" attached to it.


Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara

Question about Probation Costs....

The other day K got a letter from the probation dept.  He's given me permission to open any mail he gets so I did.  It was an invoice for "Probation Services" totally over $4,900.00 !!!!!!!

I was shocked.  I was not expecting to see anything like that.  He has other court costs to pay as well. 

Obviously this is his bill to pay, not mine, but of course, I am concerned.  Its one of those times when I ask if it would be enabling of me to call the probation office and ask them how long he has to pay this?  I mean it could take years, he has no job and probably won't for a long time.  What are the consequences of him not paying for a long time?

Have any of you ever dealt with this issue?  I simply can't fork out another dime on his problem.  I have spent over $4,000 this year my mom has spent 10,000 this year and my sister 5,000.  All of those costs were either for hospital, medical or rehab and repairs to his truck (which sold last week for less than the amount of repairs they paid for it...but at least it went to a good home and we got some of the money back).

Having an addict is more expensive than sending your kid to college :(

I have learned and will not be spending any more money on him other than buying him books, food and his meds.