The first time I learned about speedballing was while standing in the principal's office of Keven's school with a cop listening to my high son tell me what he'd been up to the last few months...(Dec. 19, 2008 at 12:45 pm - a moment frozen in time for me).
If you don't know what it is, one word: DANGEROUS. Its injecting heroin and cocaine together in same syringe.
Also at this moment, I feel a connection with all of you. I know I am not the only parent sitting here with a tear in her eye, a fear in her heart, a pain in her stomach, crying out "please HELP Alex!"
My greatest fears in life are losing my son or finding out one of your loved ones ... I can't even say it. Damn it to hell. I am so pissed off right now.
This is not what I intended to write tonight. I just had to get it out.
HOW DO WE PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING TO OTHER FAMILIES?
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
Also at this moment, I feel a connection with all of you. I know I am not the only parent sitting here with a tear in her eye, a fear in her heart, a pain in her stomach, crying out "please HELP Alex!"
My greatest fears in life are losing my son or finding out one of your loved ones ... I can't even say it. Damn it to hell. I am so pissed off right now.
This is not what I intended to write tonight. I just had to get it out.
HOW DO WE PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING TO OTHER FAMILIES?
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
9 comments:
You are in my prayers.
No way it can be prevented. Even if every known drug were eradicated, there would be something else to try for those who are addicted. It is different wiring in the head. Sorry to be glum on this, but I don't believe that we can prevent anyone else from doing anything. They have to want to do something besides the drugs and even then it is a steep uphill climb.
We have to learn to be better parents. Period. The standard american parenting plan is addiction generating.
Addicts are not wired any differently than you or me. There is a rational predictable cause and effect relationship between parenting and childrens behavior.
Better parents equals better kids.
Better parents, eh Tonjia? Please share with all us us not so hot parents (your judgement) what your secret is. We who read here and suffer and Pray together for our children, we who have been outstanding parents (of course not as perfect as you) we who would sacrifice ourselves if doing so would save our children from addiction, we would like to know EXACTLY what to do. So give it up Tonjia...what's the answer? Your comment is insulting and worse, quite ignorant.
When my own daughter looked us in the eye, when making amends, and told us sincerely, "this is not your fault", I slowly began to believe. As my husband still says, as we agonize through each relapse, "it happened on our watch." But, the fault is not entirely, or even mostly, ours. Our kids made a risk-taking choice to attempt to either do something exciting, or even to cover pain, but they made the choice to pick up that first time. And for some of them, it was catastrophic. I too am concerned about Alex and Dad'n Mom. He is indeed playing roulette with all chambers loaded. I'm rambling, am tired today. Prayers continue for us all.
Tonight I watched an episode of "Intervention" for the first time - ever - thought it was time and I was emotionally "stable" enough to handle it... "Marquel" was the episode. Ended the show with her not going to rehab... I could FEEL the worry of what if something happened to her. Arrgh if I wasn't relieved at the end when print showed up that she got a DUI - AND WAS IN JAIL. And this was relief??? Because I know what COULD have been.
Then came upstairs and read about Speedballing...
All I can do is pray for our kids. And pray for our families. And try to keep myself together.
Love & hugs to you Barbara.
oh Barbara,...you know I continue to pray for you & Keven,...we are all so so worried about Alex. As I just read this, and I type...I'm here waiting for word that my son is home. I'm out of state, visiting my mom,...called home to learn that my son was just beat up by 4 drug dealers that he'd owed $ to from the past. They also took his shoes & phone,..so I don't know how he even called.
Tonjia, do you really think that my husband and I,married 30 yrs,he a Marine Corps Colonel, were such SHITTY parents that we reaped this horror? My husband, whose very lifestyle was about honor, and courage and commitment to others DIDN'T think to try and teach, model and help his own chidren live moral lives of truth and avoid drugs?? REALLY ?? You are amazingly naive to think that this couldn't happen to you and your children. As others here have said...why aren't our other kids also addicts? You need to stay away from those of us in this pain....for you aren't aware of how much we are prone to blame ourselves,despite it actually NOT being our fault. You are also not informed, period. Read some scientific research, and then get back to us. In the meantime though...we are all awaiting your perfect parenting plan, for we'll gladly share it with anyone who will listen. None of us would wish this terrible journey on anyone.
Lori
sigh...sending prayers and hugs.
Carolyn
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. AMEN
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