Years ago on a blog that is long gone, I wrote a lot about a young friend of mine who was in the depths of drug addiction. I called her "Angel" to keep her anonymity. At the time I had no idea that is was the beginning of my "training" in addiction; Keven was just a kid 12 or 13 when Angel started using.
Angel was like a daughter to me in some ways, but also a friend. I loved her intensely. I did all I could do for her. I made mistakes that I thought were helping. I learned so much about what an addict went through, etc. I also know her family so got my first glimpse of what a parent goes through.
Eventually Angel got clean and I rejoiced, celebrated and ENJOYED her for three years. Then last year the old Angel started to show up. I honestly didn't think it was drugs at first - I thought her behavior was a direct result of getting involved with the scumbag that fed her addiction for years. But then it became to obvious to ignore. For the last year I have watched my Angel sink lower and lower into that ugly, dark place.
I was with her yesterday and she was on Meth. I never brought it up - it was too obvious, why bother. She was so out there I don't think she knew or cared if I knew. Its heartbreaking. She's suppose to be moving out of state today for a job promotion. Her dad is driving 16 hours with her to her new home. I'm sure she'll find a new supplier of drugs soon after she settles in.
I still love this young lady very much, but have let go of her - if you know what I mean. She will be 26 this month. I hope its not her last birthday.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara
P.S. Today is a big day for me for two reasons, will write more later have to get going!
7 comments:
A sad thing. I wonder when she will stop running from herself.
This really goes to show that NOT USING is not the same as being in RECOVERY.
We have to remember that when we support our addicts that RECOVERY is what they must strive to achieve.
What a sad story. It seems that we are surrounded by addicts. Good luck today!
Syd, like many addicts, I think she has a lot of pain in her past that she hasn't faced.
Dad, you are 100% right! And I have to say - she was never "in recovery" she just stopped using. Big difference.
Thanks Bristol....yep there are lots of them out there.
I am not the parent in this following related situation. I'm the daughter. I have been struggling with anorexia for about 2 years now. Things are all good now, but my life was a living hell all throughout 2010. I cannot tell you how much my parents could probably relate to your issues. It's all about control. You just want to have the control to be able to make your son better, and rationalize his thinking. Your son is afraid to give away any control, because he feels this is his thing, and it's the only thing that will truly make him feel good. I will keep you both in my prayers. PLease check out my site if you get a chance: http://sleepinl8.blogspot.com It might help to read the very first and second posts at the beginning of the blog archive.
Thanks for this post. I hope she starts to face the pain and the ugly and stop running from it or hiding it.
Hope to hear good news about your big day. :)
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