I talked to K about drugs for years before he actually tried them. We discussed everything from drugs to sex to ______ stuff I can't even say here cause its personal between him and me. My point is, we have always had open communication, a close relationship and he loves and respects me.
So to me, this sort of campaign gives false hope to parents who think their kids are going to be safeguarded against drug use if they talk openly about it.
I don't think knowledge is the answer, and I know that open communication and a good parent/child relationship is not the answer.
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
p.s. I have to wonder if we over-educate our kids about drugs, I swear K sounds like a pharmacist when he talks about drugs and he learned it all either in school or on the streets and by using.
12 comments:
I am not sure that anything is THE answer. I think that each parent can only do the best they can do.
My son just switched from 6th grade elementary to a district where 6th grade is middle school. I got this big book on substance abuse prevention and I pretty much stopped short when one of the recommendations was to have a drug and alcohol free, themed party for your teenager. To include games like bingo, provide nutritious snacks and beverages, and to ask other parents to come help supervise, oh and to use invitations to avoid party crashers.
It sounds like an elementary birthday party, which would be great, but not for any teenager I know.
I have to do what I think applies to my son, his interests, his cognition, and our relationship. Will he still decide to use drugs? That has to be up to him.
I wish I had more answers.
Barbara,
You are SO right! In fact, my addict son told me he was first really interested to try smoking marijuana from having DARE at school. And yes, his brother, also won the DARE essay and went on to smoke weed, but is not an addict like his younger brother(thank God). I am a 4th grade teacher and DARE is in our grade level each year,..much of the time I have to leave the classroom while the DARE officer is teaching,.. because listening to it all and watching my students, so innocent and heartfelt (as my son once was) is just too tender for me.
Meanwhile, your blog and others are what is helping me tonight, after the horrific news that 2 young guys (one 18, one 19) just passed away on Sunday, after OD'ing on Zanax and morphine patches. One (the 18 yr. old) was just here in my kitchen about 3 wk.s ago after giving my son a ride home from doing comm. svc.,..talking about beginning college this month, very positive, full of life. The 19 yr. old is the older brother of one of my former 4th grade students...wonderful family...I am heartsick at their pain. Thanks for listening.
Lori
P.S. Barbara,,...I plan to get you a copy of that Rock and Roll Hall of Fame HBO show,...remember that? : )
Wow. Thanks for these comments. I've been so riled up all afternoon and evening and writing this post helped me a lot.
Anna, I agree completely. The pregnancy analogy is perfect.
So Heather, how was the banana peel? I think we tried oregano once cause it looked like pot...so why not try it? I am glad (yet sad) that you learned about those things here on my blog.
Ms. Hen,
The three C's are engraved in my brain and even then some days I slip into guilt. You're absolutely right about enabling, we can control that!
Midnite, you have great answers and you know your kids so will do what's best for them. They lucked out when they got you as a mom :)
Anon,
IT IS HEARTBREAKING, HORRIBLE AND DEVASTATING to think of those boys, 18 & 19 years old! I am so very sorry you have to experience it so personally. Its just so senseless and sad and becoming more and more common.
Also, I can't imagine seeing your 4th grade class go through that. It had the same affect on Keven. He came home from school fascinated with drugs telling me more than I ever knew or wanted to know. He ate it up....it intrigued him :(
I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THAT HBO SHOW!!!!!!!! Rock and roll can soothe the soul!
Well I am here to jump on the bandwagon! I of course also agree and I spoke with my son about way more than I now feel I should have. We have a very open relationship, to the point that I had to recently tell him to stop sharing certain things with me as they were too painful. I think DARE is a joke and the war on drugs was in a way something to get youth more interested in drugs so they could later be profited on by the system. Now isn't that a bit of a far fetched theory or what! Awesome post my friend.
Mrs.Hen always makes some good points. It isn't just talking about it, there is more to it than that. I have watched my parents be enablers for years, they still are. I think when you don't know any better you keep making the same mistakes and sometimes even when you do. Life is hard.
DARE is like telling a teenager with a new driver's license not to speed.
Renee, looks like the bandwagon is growing!
Madison and Lou - Why the heck do we keep doing the same things over and over and wasting all that money if it does not work? Who is profiting from this? I want to do something about it. Bitching about is not enough, but I don't know where to start or how to make a difference...I guess that's where to start, by figuring that out.
Lacey, excellent point. I think our parents generation doesn't know much better, but today we have so many resources literally at our fingertips.
I think that the brains of addicts/alcoholics are just different from mine. There is a genetic component but there is something totally different about the way that I think versus an addict. In most cases, drugs and alcohol are just there to soothe other problems such as mental illness or ADHD. I don't think that there currently is an answer but am convinced that there will be one soon.
I think not talking to them is probably not the way to go, but you can not assume IF you talk to them all is well with the world.
Like anything else we teach our kids, we give them the ground rules and the consequences and then we hope and pray they follow the rules and realize the consequences...
Syd, I hope so!
Bond, agree completely.
I agree with Bond. You should talk with them, but realize that it's not a guarantee that they'll stay clean. So much for my two cents.
You made a comment that made me smile: " I swear K sounds like a pharmacist when he talks about drugs..."
That is exactly how I feel about my C when he talks about the stuff. And he was homeschooled, so in our case, I think it's safe to say he learned it from the streets and drug use itself. We talked about drugs, but I didn't give him the information he has spouted to me at times.
Quite an education, isn't it?
Cheri
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